Yours Absent-mindedly...

Sight

2012-01-15T04:04:00.000-08:00

Hello! How long has it been, again? Almost a year, isn't it? Well, I'm impressed. I thought I'd never be back. And this is just the beginning. I'm about to revive my blog. Wait and watch. Read.

Sleepy hills: sylvan, serene; silver surface

Swimming fish: silly, slovenly appearance

Slipping waters, slippery bank, slithering river.

Sounds, dancing leaves,

Subtle changes, landscape scene

Swaying trees, sultry breeze

Soft sighs of sleep, solitude

Secluded, reclusive, spreading

Sloping green, smiling valleys.

Silent sky, shapeless clouds, single eye

Somewhere singing, swift leaps

Swathed in blue, swallow

Slow, seemingly endless, ascent.

Guess Who?

2011-03-04T08:57:00.000-08:00

Oh, hello there. I'm still alive, in case you were wondering. Alive and kicking.

Particularly alive because we have study holidays now. So naturally, I'm spending the days watching old melodramatic Japanese movies. Why, you may ask, have I not been blogging?

To begin with, I'm extremely hard-pressed for time. I'm in the tenth grade, you know. And the exams are two weeks away. Therefore, it goes without saying that between making paper planes, Facebooking, watching football matches late at night, falling ill and reading the manga series Vagabond, squeezing in a little blogging can be difficult.

That said, my last post was almost three months ago. Three months is a long time, and despite my various pressing activities, I must make no excuses.

Also, the last thing I want is to let this blog rot here, in this unfashionable end of cyberspace. So, it is from the bottom of my heart that I apologize to my faithful leaders.

A lot of things have happened in three months – the most recent being revision exams. Revision exams are to be taken seriously, our teachers said. And so on the morning of every exam, a nervous buzz would go through our class. We would be discussing, of course, the previous night's Champions League clash.

Before the exams... Well, our last few days of school. Fun, fun. Being extremely enthusiastic when it came to the spirited celebrations on the last day of school, I did what was expected of me. While tearful goodbyes were floating across the rooms, and slambooks were being signed left right and centre, I was spotted somewhere in the vicinity of the last bench, sleeping. Obviously.

And since I've run out of things to write about already (Or : Oh my! The match starts in exactly two minutes! :O ), I will let this post come to a very premature end now. A good way to start off a new era of regular blogging, as I'm sure you'll agree with me.

Elvis vs The Beatles

2010-12-11T01:35:00.000-08:00

The Beatles and Elvis Presley ought not to be compared. The very thought of such a comparison is ludicrous. Apples and oranges, that's what they are. And yet, they are being compared all the time. There are scores of internet polls out there. And the Beatles lead by a significant margin in every one of those polls I've seen. On Facebook, Elvis has a little over a million fans. The Beatles, ten million. The Billboard Top Two Hundred Musical Artists Of All Time and the Rolling Stones Top Hundred Artists Of All Time place the Beatles at number 1; Elvis is placed third and fourth respectively.

But, but, but, Elvis is still the winner.

OK, I know what you're thinking.
Here's a guy who begins by saying you can't compare Elvis and the Beatles, and in the same breath says one is better than the other. This, you think, must be the absolute zenith of hypocrisy.
Moreover, you reflect. He goes on to say one is better when everyone else says the other is.

But hear me out on this, please.

Before any of you Beatlemaniacs lunge at my jugular, listen to Elvis' Kentucky Rain. Listen to the part where he sings "In the cold..." Or listen to I Just Can't Help Believing. I'm sorry to say this, but squeaky (and often even tone deaf) Mr John Lennon doesn't even come close.

While Elvis' strength lay in his amazing voice and singing ability, the Beatles were known for their song-writing, composing and creativity. Again, apples and oranges.

But wait.

How about crunching a few numbers? Elvis had one more #1 than the Beatles. The Beatles, it is said, sold more records on the whole, but several of his albums were certified by the RIAA, and a great number of Elvis's record sales weren't even counted back then. The latest count says Elvis has crossed the 1 billion mark ( :O ), while the Beatles are around 600 million.

"Before Elvis, there was nothing." - John Lennon.

"Ask anyone. If it hadn't been for Elvis, I don't know where popular music would be. He was the one that started it all off, and he was definitely the start of it for me." - Sir Elton John.

There you go. This definitely goes in his favour. The Beatles themselves always idolized him.

Now, you must be thinking smugly, I have a question that topples down his entire argument. If Elvis is better than the Beatles, how come the Beatles have more fans everywhere; how come they are placed above him, placed first?

I begin by answering the second part of your question.

I am a huge Beatles fan myself. Yes, you heard me right. They were awesome. They were sensational. But they were, and here is the crucial point, overrated.

Yes, I said it. Clap your hands in shock, gasp with horror. Outcry, outrage.

See, the Beatles have done some really good songs. They experimented a lot, they came up with really good tunes. But, but, but (hides under table to evade rotten eggs being hurled this way), John Lennon messes it up most of the time, actually. I'm not saying he isn't a good singer. But he does mess up a lot too. And his voice! Urrgh, it can get really irritating. Sometimes, the Beatles sound so cheerful they make me sick.

Imagine - John Lennon. Some call it the song of the century. It's awesome, yes, but again : overrated.

A lot of people, I think, think the Beatles are the best simply because it has been drilled into their heads that they are the best. And the present generation appreciates the Beatles' music better because there tunes were simpler. More cheerful. Easy to sing along with. Does the same hold true with Elvis. Hell, no. Listen to Now Or Never.

Elvis was a master of pain. His singing was subtle and full of emotion. He was a master of pain. He was versatile. He was The King.

He was cool, OK? And the Beatles weren't. They were awesome, but they weren't cool. But I suppose that's besides the point.

When it comes to that, this whole article is besides the point. I stand by what I say right at the beginning : you can't compare Elvis and the Beatles. The fact that the former is better doesn't matter.

Peace. :)

Social Nightworking

2010-11-08T08:28:00.001-08:00

Mahesh made taking a gentle sip of hot chocolate and setting the mug back on the wooden chair an elaborate – almost – ritualistic affair. He took great delight in following through every action of his, complete to the very last detail, preparing for what was going to be a very long night.

“And I think to myself,” he hummed happily. “What a wonderful world.”

Mahesh's house was getting painted. And his nose didn't get along very well with the smell of paint.

He was, therefore, being allowed to spend the night in his grandmother's house, which was a floor directly above his.

In other words : he was free to do as he pleased. He had a comp at his disposal, complete with Internet connection. He had his phone. His grandparents were in the other rooms, and they were most undoubtedly fast asleep. Definitely a lot of incentive for him to be in a buoyant mood.

But the nasty thought of the amount of work he had to complete was tugging at the sleeves of his mind. He was only halfway through his Sanskrit assignment; Chemistry homework was nothing short of disastrous, and he hadn't even started preparing for the following day's geography test.

But whatthehell, he thought. He had the whole night for all that. He could afford to sit back and relax for a bit.

He logged on to Facebook, careful to make himself appear offline and then went on Gtalk.

He frowned. The whole set up lacked something vital.

Mahesh clicked his fingers in realization. Of course, he thought to himself. Music.

New tab : YouTube.

Eric Clapton sang Wonderful Tonight ever so softly, and Mahesh was, to use the colloquial expression, apdiye in full flow.

He was chatting with four different people on Gtalk, shifting tabs every now and then to check out Facebook updates. His phone kept chirping all along.

Dai did u see thiago silva's amazin volley goal?

Mahesh grinned.

He replied, OF COURSE!! MIND BLOWING IT WAS!

Mahesh opened another tab, went on YouTube.

Thiago Silva volley goal, the football fanatic typed in the search bar. Three dozen results showed up on the first page.

“Oh,” he mumbled. “He plays for AC Milan.

A club he always claimed to be a zealous fan of.

Mahesh watched Thiago Silva's goal and had to admit it was pretty good.

He picked up his phone. Six new messages.

The first one announced, OMG! Nolan scores again for newcastle!

I know, he replied.

He had barely read through the second message when he got a reply.

U watchin?

Of course, was his reply.

A brief google search informed Mahesh that Newcastle was playing Bolton Wanderers.

“With or without you...” he sang along with U2's Bono.

It wouldn't last. The day's various activities were steadily beginning to take their toll on his body. Mahesh felt stabs of fatigue and caught himself yawning twice. He glanced at the wall clock. It was just past eleven – thirty. Scandalised, Mahesh went back to work.

He allowed himself a glance at the intimidatingly large pile of books lying on the bed. For a fleeting moment, he was torn between conflicting interests.

The moment passed, and Mahesh logged on to onemanga.com.

Mahesh groaned as the contents of the latest Full Metal Alchemist chapter materialized on the computer screen, his thoughts finding their way back to work yet to be done.

He wondered how long the trend would continue. The less he did, the less he felt like doing. He had tried on several occasions, but was always unsuccessful in his attempts to snap out of the vicious cycle that made the mountain of work on his head grow higher each miserable, passing day.

Doing the best, came Elvis's silky, tender voice. The best I can. But it's not good... Enough for you...

At one point, he realized the whole thing would reach its zenith, and he would crumble under the mountain's weight.

No, no. There was nothing to get worried about. He was just a little tired. It would all work out fine in the end. He closed the tab once he was done, and went back to Facebook. Thirteen notifications, two messages. That was fast.

Mahesh sat up another half an hour and wisely came to the conclusion that he could stay awake no longer.

He got into bed.

He'd wake up early and finish everything, he promised. He needed a little rest, that's all. Nothing major. He looked at the time. Twelve forty - five. He set an alarm for 2 on his phone.

* * *

Two a.m. The phone, being on vibrate mode, hissed and spat. Mahesh awoke slowly, listlessly, groped about for his phone and deactivated his alarm. He squinted at the screen through half open eyes. One new message.

U watching milan play napoli now?

Yeah, he replied, and went back to bed.

The homie at home.

2010-08-24T04:11:00.000-07:00

Leonardo DiCaprio said, in the movie Inception : “You never remember how a dream actually started out... You're just in it,” or something to that effect. Well, I must say he's right. I inadvertently verified the fact today.

I had a dream last night. A rather strange one. No, calling it strange would be using a polite euphemism. The dream was bizarre – the weirdest one I've ever had in my 13 years of day and nightdreaming.

I woke up this morning, and remembered, not, as DiCaprio said, the beginning of the dream, just bits and pieces – like shattered shards of glass.

It went something like this...

The cordless phone begins to ring. I pick it up and say hello.
Hello, says a cheerful voice on the other end. May I please speak to YogiB?
Had any of this been reality, I would have laughed it off as a prank call instantly.

But, as you very well know, this was a dream. And in a dream, you never doubt any one's veracity. Everything is taken seriously.

So. Someone just called and asked for YogiB.

Wrong number, I am about to say, when my father asks who it is I am talking to.

Wrong number, I tell my father. They're asking for YogiB.
I am on the verge of telling the caller he's got the wrong number when my father says, No, no. Give me the phone.

I gave it to him, wondering what was going on.
Hello, my father says, smiling pleasantly into the phone.
I don't know how, but the phone is on loudspeaker mode. My cordless doesn't even have that feature. But, I remind you and myself for the umpteenth time, this is a dream.

Hello, may I speak to YogiB?

Speaking, my father says calmly.

At this point, I am left dumbstruck. Even dreams can be pushed to a limit. Beyond a point, you begin to notice if something is odd.
And the line had certainly been crossed.

For those of you who don't know, YogiB is a corpulent Malaysian – Tamil rapper. He's an eminent personality in Tamil Nadu, and is credited to be the guy who introduced the concept of rap in Tamil music. Some of his songs are pretty good, actually.

But why. oh why, was my father claiming to be YogiB?

I ask my mother this. Her response is something of the order : OMG you didn't no?!
I confess I don't. He told you? I ask.
Why, of course, my mother says. I knew all along!
But they look nothing alike... ?

I don't know if my mother's response was acceptable. It probably wasn't, because I don't recall anything that happened after that.

But dreams are amazing. Alternate reality, I'd say. The whole thing felt so real.

When I woke up this morning, I told my mother I had a dream where my dad was YogiB. She burst out laughing. I'd been half expecting her to pat me on my back and tell me it wasn't a dream at all. Her mirth was reassuring.

I spent a lot of today wondering what the general state of affairs would have been if my father really was YogiB.

This is my dad.

This is YogiB.

My imagination wasn't powerful enough to picture a cross between the two.

Unfinished Story

2010-03-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

First of all, sorry for not blogging in such a long while. My mind had been on a lot of things. Exams, for one. Facebook. My cell phone. And a long list of other stuff.

Second, my holidays start on Friday, so I shall be able to blog regularly. Yeah, right!:P I don't guarantee anything. I shall blog when I feel like it.

Now let me cut to the chase. The following is an unfinished story I finished writing around a week and a half ago. I sort of lost the flow halfway through and stopped writing. I haven't even come up with a title. P

Please read and comment... Give me some inspiration to continue writing.

Disclaimer : Everyone and everything in this story is purely fictional. Any resemblance to anyone, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

It was one of those dull monsoon days. The nimbus clouds could be suspected of using the latest Fair And Lovely product : they looked much less dark and intimidating than before. It was one of those days when the clouds turned indolent; it was a period of inactivity between the intermittent showers. It was one of those unexciting days when there wasn't the slightest chance of rain, but the rain showers that occurred previously had left an indelible mark on the already bad roads of Chennai, making them harder than ever to travel on. It was one of those days when puddles of water lay scattered around the streets, dampening the spirits of the pedestrians, the men and women driving cars, the cyclists, the auto drivers and the bus conductors. The public would be circumspect when on the road. All their concentration would go into dodging puddles. Even the impulsive young bike riders were observed to be gloomy; and slowed down so as to prevent their precious bikes from getting soiled, although it meant ignoring their adrenaline rush. It was, to put it shortly, one of those days Rakesh detested.

Rakesh descended groggily from the upper section of his bunk bed. He felt his way out of the room and to the dining table. He grasped a cup of bournvita with his eyes still closed. He knew it would be there – it was placed there everyday most religiously by his mother. Its purpose, apparently, was to act as a catalyst in the tedious process of waking Rakesh up completely. But all it did was fill his stomach and ruin his appetite when it was time for breakfast.

Half an hour later, Rakesh stumbled into the back seat of his father's silver Swift and began putting his socks on. His father began daily sermon on punctuality, early rising, early sleeping, etc.

The early bird gets the worm, was what Rakesh's father quoted everyday on the car ride to the bus stop. Cliché.

What Rakesh quoted everyday (albeit under his breath) was a popular alteration of that saying. The early worm gets eaten.

The world is changing. Back in the days of yore, kids would actually ponder over such didactic lectures on punctuality. Many of them would feel bad about it. One in five hundred would even mend his ways.

Today's global scenario is different.

Rakesh peered out of the window while his father went on. Although the morning was still young, the city had woken up hours ago. Lungi clad men lumbered down the road, eyeing a few kids frolicking in mosquito egg infested puddles with disgust. Senior diabetic citizens were in the last stage of their brisk morning walks. Old women selling things ranging from banans to malli poo were assembling on a platform in front of a run down building that was once a prosperous Saravana Wines. Autos were scarcely seen at this time of the day.

The car moved into a narrow alley. The road was blocked. A bullock cart rider and a cyclist were in the midst of a loud altercation. The fuming cyclist was pointing madly at the buffaloes.

Rakesh's father began honking furiously. He brought down the window glass and shouted, move over!

The bullock cart rider swore rudely one last time, shook his fist violently and rode away. The cyclist decided to go about his business too.

The car went straight ahead for a while and to his left Rakesh saw the famous Kalakshetra. The car went on for a few more metres, and then turned right. After a crossing a main road, it reached the school bus stop.

Rakesh, much to his relief, was just in time to clamber aboard the bus. The microscopic element of relief in Rakesh's dad's mind was overshadowed by annoyance and frustration.

“I don't believe in cutting things fine,” he said as Rakesh got down from the car. “Tomorrow we'll be here fifteen minutes before the school bus.”

The bus reached Vidya Bhavan Higher Secondary School in twenty minutes.

Rakesh looked around him. Everything was in order. The watchman was trying to chase a stray dog out of the school. The dog had been christened Karthik, after a popular guy in school by one of Rakesh's friends and that's what everyone called it ever since. The lady who sprinkled water on the usually barren school ground was there, like always. Her primary aim in life was to spray water from the hosepipe on every student that ever walked through Vidya Bhavan. On that particular day, most of the ground was already wet. So the lady had more time to focus on this activity.

People had wondered why the ground had to be sprinkled with water. The answer came from one of Rakesh's friends, whose mother was a member of the Parent Teacher Association. It was to keep the dust down.

Rakesh took a detour to the high school block so as to avoid the lady. He climbed up two flights of stairs and was walking down the tenth grade corridor. He walked pass 10 D, 10 C, 10 B – where someone had very ingeniously carved the entire proof of the Pythagoras Theorem on one of the walls - and 10 A. With that he entered the ninth grade corridor. He looked at his class.

A small green board above the door announced, 9A.

Everything was in order. Everything would be the same, Rakesh felt. At 7:50 (give or take a couple of minutes), a peon would bellow into the mike : “Hello-hello, hello.” Evil sound waves would travel to every nook and corner of the school, deafening students and teachers alike. Provoked by this foul play, the students who were engaged in a ceaseless battle against this particular peon would begin cursing rather loudly.

At 8:05, he would go down for Assembly, and his teacher would reproach him, like she did everyday, for not combing his hair and tucking in his shirt. The Principal would be at the dais, her eyebrows drawn upwards in a perpetual frown. Students and teachers would stand scattered in various parts of the ground, not unlike the puddles on the roads. The peon would urge the students to form lines class wise, and they would obey - slowly, idly, unenthusiastically.

Sarath, one of his best friends, would be spotted nursing scratches and bruises. With his immutably pugnacious attitude, he was seldom seen not beating up, or getting beaten up, by someone.

Rakesh had a premonition that something out of the ordinary, something to break the monotonous routine and his ennui, would happen. But, much to his dismay, Rakesh found that after the assembly the day had slipped into mundane normalcy.

***

Every inch of Rakesh's desk was covered with graffiti. As was everyone else's. Their seniors had chronicled their views on life, the universe and everything on the benches to make sure they weren't forgotten in a hurry. Students often complained about this. They were unhappy because there was no place on the desk for them to add bits of graffiti.

Rakesh looked down at his bench and read stuff he hadn't read previously. This was a a practice that he had taken to when he was utterly bored of the teacher droning on and on.

eminem rox.

Gah. He hated it when someone spelled 'rocks' with an x.

Next to eminem rox, someone had drawn a heart with a red pen and written inside it : Gautham loves Meena.

Below that there was CHELSEA.

His eyes flickered to the part of the bench that had been defaced by swear words. He decided to read all that later. At present, something written in bold black letters caught his attention :

TAYLOR LAUTNER

Next to which someone had added, later on, with a ball pen : sucks.

Then there was

ROBERT PATT!!!!!

And next to that, makes me puke.

And then,

TWILIGHT ...is the worst thing that ever happened to mankind.

Rakesh felt a growing admiration for the person who had wielded the ball pen in his anti-Twilight crusade.

He scanned the bench for other things that the person with the ball pen might have written. He found something. Same curvy handwriting, all right.

Someone had written HRITHIK ROSHAN with a red marker. Mr. Anti-Twilight had scribbled two more words after that : idli moonji.

There was a long list of film actors, and all of them had corresponding remarks etched in blue ink.

SHAH RUKH KHAN Please, just don't even mention him.

ILAYATHALAPATHY VIJAY should be handed over to cannibalistic tribes in South America.

THALA AJITH bonda manda.

“Rakeeeeesh!” came a piercing voice. It was the teacher. “Stand up!”

Oh mannn...

“Can you please tell the class what I was just saying?”

Screwed.

Rakesh was surprised. Pleasantly so. The teacher had thrown him out of the class. He'd expected something much worse. An imposition, at the very least. “Write the lesson only five times,” was her standard line. But all she had done was ask him to leave the class. He obeyed without hesitation. Sreelatha Miss was becoming more tolerant. She seemed to condone daydreamers.

The shrill electronic bell announced it was eleven. Lunch break. Rakesh decided to eat in the canteen for a change.

Vidya Bhavan's canteen was an unhygienic place. The ambiance was next to pathetic. Only the man in the canteen knew what was put into the food that wasn't unhealthy. But since its inception, the canteen had been a huge hit.

Huge wouldn't be a very apt word here. To drive home how popular the canteen was, one can use the words that are used to describe Tamil movies in the posters :

Bumper hit.

Fyi : These two words are used for the biggest hit of the season. You can be sure this movie grossed crores at the box office. And that it doesn't star Vijay.

Mega hit.

A movie that does very well, but isn't the biggest hit, carries these two words on the poster.

Super hit.

These words are used for a movie whose reception is average.

Running Successfully.

Be assured, this movie has failed miserably at the box office. Usually a Vijay starer.

The words 'Running Succesfully' had always intrigued Rakesh. Running Successfully? As against? Running unsuccessfully?

Super Hit Songs.

The movie has failed so miserably that the advertisement is for the songs.

The day's canteen menu had been scribbled on a white board in fading blue ink. The marker was placed next to the board.

21/10/2011 - - - - - VB Canteen Snakes.

The man running the canteen was notorious for his spellings. Snakes probably meant snacks, but you could never be sure.

The first item on the menu was Gopi Manchurian. Rakesh took the liberty of changing it to Gobi Manchurian.

“Why?” he heard a voice next to him. It was Sarath. “Gopi was much better.”

He changed it back to Gopi.

“Noooo.”

Rakesh changed it to Gobi for the second time.

“Argh.”

Sarath moved forward to make the necessary alteration but Rakesh blocked his way. There was some pushing and shoving, which gradually got more violent. Eventually, Sarath slipped and fell and the white board fell on top of him with a crash.

The man who ran the canteen began to swear and Rakesh knew it was time to make himself scarce. He began sprinting away from the canteen. Two eleventh graders blocked his only exit. Rakesh faltered, and before he knew it Sarath was upon him.

Four minutes later, Rakesh was panting and Sarath was dripping wet. He had bumped into an eleventh grader, who, because of the impact, inadvertently spilled the entire contents of a water bottle on him.

Rakesh tried to placate his friend by placing a soothing arm on his shoulder. But Sarath misconstrued the conciliatory gesture as an attempt to assault him. He gave Rakesh's hand a deft twist and another fight ensued.

***

Rakesh realized, fifteen minutes into the period after the lunch break, the he was famished. Sixteen minutes into the period, he realized that he hadn't eaten a thing during the lunch break – it had been spent combating Sarath. Twenty minutes into the period, he realized that he had a headache. Argh. Sarath, he realized, twenty two minutes into the period, was definitely plotting a way to get his comeuppance. Rakesh had been in better situations.

The teacher droned on about poverty alleviation schemes, and Rakesh knew he could take it no longer. He excused himself from the classroom under the pretext of wanting to use the restroom. At that point he wanted nothing more than to sit under the comforting shade of the big banyan tree outside, for a while, and introspect.

Rakesh walked along the right edge of the ground and watched the football match that was in full swing. Tamil swear words were flying across the ground.

Eighth graders, Rakesh smirked. They suck, he thought. There was no word for the magnitude of their lack of skill at the game – no ultimate superlative, but a carefully worded remark by Govind, Rakesh's friend, sort of summed it all up : My grandmother's poodle's feeding bowl can play better football than these guys.

Rakesh, with an unmistakable air of superiority and an excellent swagger cast his juniors scornful glances. They, in turn, glared back at him fiercely.

It was curious why the Vice Principal, from whose office one could clearly hear all the swearing, did nothing about any of it.

Speaking of the Vice Principal, Rakesh could hear her speaking. He was just outside her room's window.

“...Yes,” she was saying. “9A. Last period.”

Rakesh frowned. That was his class she was talking about. He paused to listen.

“They've been bringing gadgets to school. All sorts of them. Not just cell phones.”

“Show no, mercy, ma'am,” came a male voice.

“No, no, of course not.”

“But how do you know of this? Which teacher complained?”

“Oh, it wasn't a teacher,” the vice princi clarified. “You know we have this spy-sort-of-system with the introduction of the CCE? Yes, Srikanth of 9A – he's the spy, haha, he tipped me off.”

“Ah. So, last period, then?”

“Yes, Last period. We confiscate everything. Give nothing back. And call their parents.”

“Sure. I'll help. Happy to do so.”

Rakesh froze.

So it was true. There was a spy. And the spy was Srikanth. Srikanth, the boy he disliked most. The boy, as far as he knew, everyone disliked most. If he just spread the word that he was the spy, most of his (Rakesh's) friends would disown Srikanth. Srikanth would be ostracized from The Brotherhood Of Nine A.

But that was hardly what mattered then. There were far higher things at stake, Rakesh mused . He had his friends to save. They would all be devastated if their gadgets were confiscated. And if their parents were called. He had to do something.

Along with CBSE's decision to scrap the class ten board exams, came the CCE. CCE, as far as Rakesh knew, either stood for Comprehensive Continuous Evaluation or Continuous Comprehensive Evaluation. This form of evaluation spelled disaster for the students of VB.

Rakesh remembered vividly the day when they were all dragged down to the Hall and given a lecture on the new pattern. They were stunned when they heard the Vice Principal say : “We shall now evaluate your attitude towards friends and teachers, punctuality, behaviour, attitude towards school programmes, extra curricular activities, regularity in notebook and assignment submission, etc.”

Rakesh had expected a vociferous response to this from his peers, some form of vehement protest... But the Vice Principal was met by pure silence. They were too shocked to respond in any intelligent way.

During her lecture, the Vice Principal had also told them that she would employ a spy in each class to monitor the students' behaviour in the absence of the teachers. None of them had taken that seriously, they felt that even teachers wouldn't be that paranoid. But they had been wrong.

And then the gadget stuff. For the past two weeks, several students of 9A had been bringing all kinds of gadgets to school and using them in class. Without any of the teachers finding out. And Srikanth had babbled to the Vice principal. Curses.

***

Rakesh sat. And contemplated. He looked at the great banyan tree, and slowly thinks began to take shape. Random amorphous ideas materialized to give rise to a plan. A risky one, but a plan nonetheless.

Rakesh began to race across the ground. His headache had been pushed to the sidelines and a new sense of purpose possessed him. He was literally shivering in excitement, and the sun, as though perplexed by this strange behaviour during the peak afternoon hour, shone twice as brightly, refusing to capitulate.

On running up three flights of stairs, Rakesh reached his class and knew the time for drastic action had come.

Music for the Dead

2010-02-14T00:47:00.000-08:00

Outside my house

I can hear a funeral procession.

Yet, when I gaze down at it

From my balcony

I see little mourning.

I see emaciated percussionists

Beating their drums

And severeal dancers

Intoxicated by local liqour.

But why are they dancing?

Someone has died!

“They are happy,”

I was told.

“Happy that he shall reach heaven.”

Now the road is blocked.

Cars and autorickshaws honk angrily.

Scooterists try to squeeze thier way

Past the procession.

The beats strike a faster pace

And men dance in ecstasy.

And those beats...

They make me want to dance too.

I don't get it.

Those beats are for the dead.

But they're so full of life.

Why I will never go to Pluto on a rocket.

2010-01-30T06:00:00.000-08:00

In retrospect, I now realize how rapidly the human mind flits between different thoughts. My sister has lately developed an interest in Disney's Encyclopedia For Children. She was reading out an entry on the Milky Way to my father and me, and paused briefly to give us her personal thoughts and comments on the subject. The topic of discussion suddenly shifted to the Solar System, then moved on to the Big Bang, jumped to Mickey Mouse for a short while and then came to the cosmic tragedy : how Pluto lost its status of a planet.

It occurred to all three of us that we didn't know why this happened and so I decided to find out. I did all my research here.

I did some explaining, and before I knew it I was in the middle of an animated discussion with the topic being How Will We Go To Pluto In A Rocket?

Sis : Why can't we go?!
Me : We can't!
Sis : Of course we can!
Me : How will we go?
Sis : In a rocket!
Me : Yes, but how will we get into a rocket? They won't let us in!
Sis : THEY WILL.
Me : They'll ask us to pay LOTS AND LOTS of money.

My sister gave this a thought. So fund raising was the problem. Hmmm.
She came up with a solution.

My grandmother dabbles in Japanese painting and Ikebana. So my sister said very wisely, “we'll sell Grandma's paintings and get money.”
Me : But that won't be enough!
Sis : We'll sell it for HUNDRED!

The word 'hundred' is in in italics and is bold because special emphasis was laid on word. My sister half shouted it out, and that was accompanied by an exasperated facial expression and a firm, muscular hand gesture that symbolized ceaseless strength and determination.
Me : But that still won't be enough.
We thought for a while. I then came up with a bright idea : We would stand on Mount Road all day holding a poster that would look somewhat like this :

It wouldn't work. My sister knew instinctively that it wasn't feasible.
Sis : When I grow up I'll become a scientist. So I can go in the rocket.
Me : You can go, but they won't take me.
Sis : So what? You don't come.
Me : Waaaah! :'(
Sis : OK, OK, I'll take you also.
Me : The other scientists won't want me to come.
Sis : Then you don't come, pa!
With that powerful exit line and an even more powerful punch she walked away and switched on the TV.

Bah! If it was today that she had punched me, I would have sued her and she would have got a fitting penalty : Clean up the clothes shelf.
Yes. Until now, I have been playing the role of an oppressed commoner in the troubled times of a dictatorship. But now the tables have turned. Absolute power lies with the common man : lies with me. A new Politeness Plan has been introduced jointly by my mother and my sister(Why on earth would she have done that? Is this part of a larger, diabolical scheme I have overlooked?). This Plan is our Constitution, Bible, Bhagavad Gita, Koran, Guru Granth Sahib, Tintin comic and Dictionary.

The Plan is applicable for all members of the family. Democracy is here. I take that as a good sign.

I can now present whatever cases I have against my sister to an independent and impartial judiciary.
Way to go, kid. :P

On a completely different note, on Jan 26th (Republic Day), after flag hoisitng in school, I decided to eat out. I traveled for a while and stopped on seeing two eateries that stood close to each other. One was a french bakery called La Boulangerie and the other was Murugan Idli Shop. I ate at Murugan Idli Shop. I am a true Indian. Jai Hind.

Recipe of Death

2010-01-08T05:20:00.000-08:00

The Day had arrived

And we were done with our cake.

With a plate of urbanization

And some ingredients we invented,

Long ago

We set out to bake,
Set out to make
A spherical cake.

Years and years it took us.

It was laid out before us -

Generations of perspiration.

For miles and miles

In all directions it spread.

The finished product

Disappeared behind the dark horizon.

We did it.

We managed to make
We managed to bake
A spherical cake.

And here is our recipe :

First you need

To clean the batter

Of lava, water and soil.

So cut down the trees,

Liquidate the animals,

Throw 'way the birds

And the fishes.

Simultaneously to the water you must add

Two billion kilograms of toxins.

Garnish your cake,

Your spherical cake

With a dollop of genocide,

A dash of despair,

A spoon or two of nuclear war

And four cups of avarice.

Then heat the mixture.

Use carbon emissions...

And slowly...

Begin to bake
(You're about to make)
A spherical cake.

And once your cake is made,

Watch it crumble

Rapidly

Into a mound of cosmic dust

And perish along with it.

What do you think?

What do you feel?

How do you find our Recipe of Death?

Leave us a comment.

Write to

earthlings@nature-had-the-last-laugh.com.

PS : Happy 75th birthday, Elvis!! :D

Birthday Blogging

2009-12-28T21:28:00.000-08:00

Yep, you guessed it. Today is my blog’s first birthday. Yes, it's been 365 days since I started chronicling things down in this blog. I still have a vivid image of me writing my first post on this blog stuck in my mind. I was seated in front of the computer, recovering from the loss of my old blog, which was hacked into and deleted by someone.

Note : I know today is 29th December, Tuesday. There's something wrong with the date that appears on top of each post. I shall correct it ASAP.

I think I’ll change the layout of the blog as a birthday present. I’ve tried this many times, but it never really worked out. Perhaps things will be better because today is special.

So, anyway, I’m in Ottappalam now, a town in Kerala, visiting my grandparents. Wait, did I say town? I beg your pardon. It’s an economic powerhouse! Yeah, the metropolis! The heart of the place – the most happening part of Ottappalam is Choice Hypermarket. I don’t know where they got the word ‘hypermarket’ from, but it’s more or less a supermarket… Yeah, Choice Hypermarket : Downtown Ottappalam.

But well, it is a very quite and serene place. A sleepy town.

I had fun reaching my grandparent’s house… We entered majestically in an ambulance. An ambulance! Lol the driver works part time at a hospital driving ambulances and since he had to drop a doctor somewhere and the house was on the way, he decided to take us in one.

I left my camera at home!!!!= :’( So I couldn’t take photos of the vehicle’s interior. But it was great just the same. My sister was either very thrilled or very depressed. Travelling in the ambulance probably made us reach home faster – we were able to dodge traffic. Bwahaha, who am I trying to kid? Traffic?! In Ottappalam? I don’t think so. There’s hardly a car on the road during the rush hour. So you can imagine what it was like when we hit the road – before five in the morning.

Before I sign off, I’ll say it once again : Happy Birthday, Blog! Wait, I didn’t really say it that way before, did I? Nah, forget it.
My heartfelt thanks to all those who’ve commented on this blog and motivated me *wipes tears*. Bah. I don’t want to make it sound all soppy like a Vote Of Thanks.
Anyway : Hope my blog has a smashing year ahead. Hope I become a more regular blogger, like some people I can mention.

Sayonara!

Chutti TV : Entertainment Unlimited. :D

2009-12-26T21:28:00.000-08:00

Note 1 : I know there is a lot to blog about, with the coming of the holidays, Christmas, etc, but I shall leave all that for later.

Note 2 : Please don't complain if you don't understand the way the Tamil dialogues have been written in this post.

Prologue : A friend came over to my house a week or so ago and we were at a loss as to what to do. We couldn't use the internet – the guy from BSNL came over and took the modem away for repair. On first glance I thought he'd taken the mouse away with him too, but on further inspection I learned that it had been pushed down by my sister. And so, acting like most teens of our age, we settled down in front of the TV. We considered watching HBO, World Movie, or even Disney Channel, but we realized that we were in the mood for something plain stupid. (Don't get me wrong here, I'm not trying to say that Disney Channel isn't stupid. With shows like Hannah Montana, Kya Mast Hai Life, Son Pari and Krsihma Ka Karishma, it just misses the top spot on the list of the dumbest channels ever. Actually, I'm still debating between Toon Disney and Disney Channel for the second place. Toon Disney because it has a show named Hero, where the superhero gets superpowers by doing poojas.) So, which channel did we choose to watch? No, not Podhigai or DD News, we chose the channel that tops the list : Chutti TV.

Chutti TV is brilliant. The people who run Chutti TV too are brilliant. To those of you Martians who don't know what Chutti TV is – it's a Tamil channel for little kids.

Martians : Oh. That's nice. What kind of shows do they have?

Me : Jackie Chan, Godzilla, Stuart Little, etc.

Martians : Short though our stay on this dying planet has been, we've gathered enough satellite information to come to the conclusion that those shows aren't all that stupid.

Me : If you view them in English they're not.

Martians : Ah.

Me : Even if you directly dub them into Tamil they won't seem all that stupid.

Martians : Oh.

Me : But watch them on Chutti TV and they're amazing.

Martians : So they aren't stupid after all!

Me : Argh! Amazing in a stupid way. :P

Martians : Oh. Please elaborate.

Me (smugly) : Read this blog post to know more.

So. About Chutti TV. Those who run this channel have come up with the rather bright idea of localizing all the aforementioned shows.

Take a look at Godzilla, where all sorts of hunks sporting six packs walk around with machine guns. Doesn't one of them addressing another by saying “Dai, Paandi...” sound a little out of place?

They have English movies too, localized, on Chutti TV. Some Hollywood movie was playing one of these days, and the two lead characters were engaging in a session of verbal jousts.

CharacterOne : Poda, poda... Chumma thevai illaama adi vaangaatha.

CharacterTwo : Ey! Mavanna naa mattum onna adichaa... Nee America'la poi vizhunthiduva!!!

Needless to say both of them were, and lived, in America.

You catch my drift, I suppose.

But on the night my friend came over, the show that was going on was The Jackie Chan Adventures or Jackie Chaanin Saakasangal, as it is called on the channel. I don't know how many of you have watched this series in English, but this gigantic character...

... is called Beema on Chutti TV. And the Uncle delivers the most amazing punch dialogues. Two of them are - “Ey, Beema! Nee summa po ma!” and “Naa late-aa vanthaalum latest-aa thaan varuvén!”

The two of us sat, waiting for more rib tickling lines, but the show did not meet our expectations.

Rating : Six on ten

The next show was Stuart Little. And I must be honest – that was the most amazing episode I've ever seen in any show in my (rather short) life. Read on for a brief description of the episode...

A rather bucolic setting. A blue car pulls up inside a farm. Stuart and George are singing Taxi Taxi. Both of them, their sister, Snowbell, another cat whose name evades me and their parents get down from the car. “Vanthu sérnthuttom baays,” the father says. They are greeted by their Uncle Crenshaw, who asks Stuart and George if they will help him with the farm work.

“Shoowar (sure)!” they exclaim, and get to work.

Uncle Crenshaw begins to put up a scarecrow. He hurts his finger in the process.

Stuart tries his hand at milking a cow. But the cow apparently didn't want to be milked. She screams at Stuart in complete porukki language. Stuart is stunned.

“Aama, neenga epdi ivlo local-aa pésareenga?” he asks the cow.

“Oh, athuvaa,” the cow says. “En sontha ooru Madras thaan pa.”

George tries to do something really strange with something that looks like a go cart and falls into some muddy water. He gets up, saddened by the fact that his face is covered in muddy water.

“Aiyaiyo,” he complains. “Christmas thaatha maari ayittén!”

The show paused for a while as an ad for Spiderman Two : Thamizhil (with the song Vanthuttaan da vanthuttaan da kaalai playing in the background as Spidey fought Doctor Oc) covered the screen. I decided to flip through the channels while the advertisemenst went on. Unfortunately, by the time I returned to Chutti TV, Stuart Little had resumed and I had missed some of it.

George lies on a hammock, his eyes closed, and listens to music. Stuart engages in conversation with Snowbell and another cat. They tell him horrifying stories about a falcon that haunts the farm. Uncle Crenshaw had gone to a nearby town to purchase something.

While this is going on, the falcon, the cats were talking about, is making his plans for a meal. He plans to eat Stuart, Snowbell and the other cat for lunch. But for that he needs help from the crows. So he flies to a bunch of crows and threatens them by saying : “En pér Falcon. Naa ongala maari kaakkaagala dhomsam pannuvén.” he then proceeds to tell them how they should help him in catching his meal. Terrified, the crows yield to him and are ready to follow his plans.

The falcon swoops dramatically down at Stuart and the cats. Falcon tries to grab hold of Stuart, but he manages to escape between the wheels of a tractor.

“Tcha! Miss aayittaney!” Falcon growls. He changes course and pursues the cats, who are running for their lives. The crows go after Stuart. George is oblivious to all this and he slips into peaceful slumber.

The cats are no match for Falcon. He corners them in no time.

The cat that isn't Snowbell stammers. “Thala, epdi irukkeengo?” he asks. Falcon growls. The felines consider their options and come with the plan with the highest survival rate. They run in between Falcon's legs and make a beeline for the woods, where the crows are chasing Stuart.

The cats catch up with Stuart and they move cautiously through the woods. They have lost the birds thanks to the dense foliage.

“Aiyo!” Stuart wails miserably. “Uncle Krechaa (Crenshaw) enga thaan poyi tholanchtaaro!”

He cries out for help : “Jaaj (George), Jaaj! Vanthu kaappaathu!”

They keep walking through the desolate wilderness and reach a small clearing. They are spotted by the crows, who go after the trio. Stuart and the cats run in opposite directions. The crows chase Snowbell and the other cat.

Snowbell gets a brainwave. He suddenly turns around and shouts, “Anga paaru! Our pombla kaakka!”

The deluded crows go in search of the female crow gleefully while the cats escape. Later, Falcon finds the crows, who are desperately searching for a female of their kind.

Crows : Enga da irukkaa?!

Falcon : Dai, muttaal pasangala! Ongala émaathittaanga da!

Crows : Achucho!

Falcon : Poi pudinga da!

The crows fly off in search of the rodent and the cats, but their path is obstructed by a scarecrow who scares them out of their wits. The crows scatter in fear.

Falcon arrives at the very same spot and relaizes what has happened.

“Tcha!” he spits, giving the scarecrow a distateful look. “Intha dhadiyana thavara ellórum thappichtaanga!”

Due to our violent fits of laughter, my friend and I lost track of the story for a few minutes, and then there was another ad. When the show resumed, Stuart and the cats were in a chicken coop, and Falcon was trying to enter through the barred window.

“Ey arivillaatha paravaye,” taunts Stuart. “Unaala enna pudikka mudiyaathu!”

Then somehow, the three of them escape and Falcon is trapped inside the coop with no way out.

“Chee,” a hen says in the background. “Intha falcon paarkathukku romba kévalamaa irukkaan.”

Stuart continues taunting Falcon from outside.

“Dai, vaaya moodura,” Snowbell says, nudging him. “Naa punch dialogue vudanum.”

We lost track of the story again and before we knew it, the episode had come to an end.

Rating : Nine and a half on ten.

Next, the movie Honey, We Shrunk The Kids began to play on Chutti TV.

It was boring in parts but there were some awesome lines too. One was a robot-kinda fire alarm shouting “daynjaar (danger), daynjaar, fayaar (fire), fayaar,” in a pakka porukki voice.

And then there was “kavalappadaathey, honey,” “vaanga, poi dirings (drinks) saapdalaam,” and “onakku moolai kolambidichu.”

But the best dialogue was delivered by the scientist : Ennathu?! Namma veettukkulla oru alien inchekt(insect)-aa?!

Rating : Five and a half on ten.

After all that we lost interest in the movie and decided to get some sleep. Very embarrassing, it was only eleven-thirty. But I swear we didn't sleep before one. :)

Please forgive me for this rather abrupt ending. :P

A (Non) Rain Holiday

2009-12-16T03:02:00.000-08:00

Note : This post's title has nothing to do with the content. I just wanted the readers to know that we got a rain holiday and it hardly rained.

I'm back in front of my comp after an hour of being locked out of my house. I watched the movie Ocean's Eleven for the tenth time, and yes, I loved it.

Anyway, I was attempting to clear my cluttered desktop, and...

... came across an article I wrote a while ago. Decided to put it up here.

Peek-a-boo

Yes, I admit it is not unnatural for a little kid to get attracted to a game such as hide and seek. I was hooked to it too, at one stage of my life. But doesn´t it get a bit... dry after a certain point – i.e., when the seeker knows exactly where you are and pretends to be searching for you? Well, obviously, not to my sister.

My seven-year-old sister makes it a point to hide herself and surprise my father when he gets back home from work or my mother when she´s back from school. I am forced to declare that I have absolutely no idea where my sister is. But the point I´m trying to make here is, almost every single one of these times my parents know the hiding place because a violent fit of giggling erupts from there. But they play along, looking everywhere in the room (and when they run out of ideas they resort to looking under the telephone directory) until they finally get fed up and act all surprised when she emerges from her hiding place.

This happens close to every single time. I mean, yes, my sister is quite small, and hide and seek is fun... but I thought everything has its limit! I wonder what goes through her mind when my parents pretend to search for her. I still haven´t managed to figure out if she´s aware of the fact that her parents are pretending or she really thinks she´s doing a good job of hiding. I have tried a few times to find out, but those attempts really didn´t work. Usually at the end of those psychological sessions I would end up listening to her describe at length her views on every character of an absurd animation programme known as Chota Bheem (Now, I don´t know how many of you have heard of this cartoon, much less seen it, because it´s not exceptionally wonderful. I´ve watched some of it only a few times myself, but there´s lots to say about it... It´s not just the animation that isn´t really great... Obviously, the director and the person in charge of dialogues can´t be all that bright, because their idea of a perfect comedy scene is this –

CharacterA (to CharacterB): Hi! You look very funnyyyy!

CharacterB : Hmph!

CharacterA, C, D, E : Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!

I think at this point, we are expected to laugh along.)

There have been a few times when my sister really did manage to conceal herself well. But that usually happens only on the worst possible days. For example, there was this occasion when my sister managed to shut herself up in a cupboard. I was sipping a glass of cool water. And my mother entered the house looking quite stressed out.

"I swear I haven´t the faintest idea where Kalyani (my sister) is, and I shall not help you find her," was the first thing I told my mother. I had learned by heart my lines pretty well.

My mother really wasn´t in the mood for a game of peekaboo; she had to take my sister for a dance class and was running late. She slapped her palm on her forehead in frustration and began looking for my sister in earnest. All her attempts were in vain, and she began calling out to my sister, capitulating, asking her to come out. My sister pushed the cupboard door open and jumped out with great vigour, screaming something that sounded like "wheeeeeeeeee!" at the top of her voice. My mother sighed in relief (though she was annoyed with me for letting my sister venture into a cupboard), but I was so stunned by the wheeee-like-noise that I choked over the water and spilled all the water in my glass. My sister, with her characteristic broad smile, decided to celebrate by running around the house doing a victory dance. But this glorious moment of hers was cut short most tragically. She slipped over the water I had spillled and hit her head against the floor, and... began to cry.

So what happened, finally?

What happened in this case was my sister went to her dance class late (not to mention sobbing). And she returned home quite happily, with a Kurkure packet in hand (the function of the Kurkure packet was to cheer her up). Well, I ate up most of the Kurkure, but that´s a different story...

So that´s how things are with my sister... Wait, where´s my sister again? Oh yeah, she must be under the bed, I hear some laughter come from there. She probably expects me to search for her.

Giving the bees a run for their money

2009-12-12T03:40:00.000-08:00

Note : details are around 90% accurate, 10% exaggeration.

I know a lot of busy people. My sister, for instance. Sitting still for a few seconds drives her mad with boredom, and when that happens she either begins throwing things around or beating me up. Or both.

I know busy animals too. There's this dog that keeps entering my school. It scouts around the place and is often found lounging about near the canteen. The watchman, or, in some cases, the watchmen, spend a great deal of of time and energy in driving it out. After which, a dog loving tenth grader brings it right back in, petting and caressing it. The dog basks in glory and then proceeds to wag its tail and stick its tongue out. Which is not unusual for a dog, but on these occasions one begins to suspect that it's sticking its tongue out at the watchman.

But none of these characters can beat, or even hope to beat, my grandmother. As my grandfather remarks from time to time, “she needs a 72-hour day to complete all her tasks with perfection!”

To my grandfather's great annoyance, I fail to laugh every single time. Similar things happen on monsoon evenings, when my father announces, “we should change the name of our street from BK Road to BK River!”

That was a bit of a digression. Where was I?

Ah, yes. My busy grandmother. She must be some sort of a superwoman.

But, but, but, but, but, but, sometimes, her dreadfully tight schedule makes her lose track of what's going on.

For example : My grandmother orders water from a company known as Jeppiar. And she orders grocery and other stuff from a shop known as Chandamama Stores.

Today, she meant to order some coconut oil from Chandamama, but she called Jeppiar instead.

The conversation that ensued was something like this...

My grandmother : Hello.

Receiver : Allo.

MG : Have you sent everything?

R : Umm, yes.

MG : Oh. That's bad.

R : Why?

MG : I wanted some coconut oil too.

R : ?!

The receiver then probably said something like, “we don't have coconut oil.”

MG : Out of stock? Will you tell me when you get some?

R : I think you have the wrong number.

MG : What?

R : Ma'am, this is Jeppiar Water Services.

MG : Oh.

R : ...

MG : Sorry.

With that she put the phone down. The above convo took place in Tamil, and therefore most of the humour may have been lost in translation.

On another day, my grandmother called up some random person thinking it was the courier service.

MG : Hello.

Receiver : Hello.

MG : There is a letter to be picked up.

Receiver : Eh?

MG : Note down my adress, please. C1, Kr -

(Interrupted by receiver)

R : Sorry, I th -

MG : I'll repeat, C1 -

R : This isn't the courier service.

MG : ?

R : This is house.

MG : What?

R : This is house! My house

MG : Oh. Sorry.

According to my grandmother, there were many others busy like her in her family. And they all had moments like this. They seemed to have some sort of tradition of asking anyone who visited their house to run errands for them, such as buying some vegetables on the way.

My grandmother's relatives asked a lawyer (and would be minister) and a tuition master to do the above mentioned act without realizing who they were.

Now I know where my absent-mindedness comes from. Now you know where my blog's name comes from.

LOL moments

2009-12-06T02:16:00.000-08:00

Teacher : Find the number of moles in 54 grams of H₂SO₄ . Atmoic mass of Sulphur is 32, Oxygen is 16.
StudentA : What is the atomic mass of 4?
StudentB (Top Class Dullard) : Eh, idiot, we need molecular mass, not atomic mass!

My seven-year-old sister (pointing at a random person) : What's his name?
Me : Sri Lokeshkrishna Hari Narayana Govindaswamy.
My sister : Oh. (After a while) You're joking, right?

StudentX : ... Yes, I have a 1 GB pen drive.
StudentB : Eh, shut up, I have an infinite GB pen drive!

StudentB (To StudentY) Poda Yem W.
Yem is the local way of saying 'M.' After some research I came to know thet MW stood for Mug-Vomit. (Lol, W for vomit?!) When I asked StudentB the exact meaning of Mug-Vomit, he informed me that it meant 'mugging up and vomitting everything out in tests'

StudentY (to StudentB) : What's your IQ?
StudentB : My IQ is full, da!
StudentY : What do you mean by 'full?' Give me a number!
StudentB : 1 or 2.

Me (to StudentB) : State Dalton (the guy who made all those postulates in Chemistry:P)'s Theory of Evolution.
StudentB : How many theories should I state?

Amazing dialogue by a teacher to StudentZ : Eh, balloon, don't become a buffoon!

I used to have this gigantic friend. We studied in the same class last year. Since he was so big, he bought a large half pant. But the one he bought was a bit too large, so it went below his knees. On spotting this, a teacher commented with a look of disgust: What is this? Pant-ah, half pant-ah? Bleddy Bermuda!

ROFLMAO!
For more stuff like this visit http://vishnu96.blogspot.com/2009/11/chemistry-class.html or www.dirtdiggerspeaks.blogspot.com

Good-bye!

A day in my uncle's house.

2009-11-24T04:41:00.000-08:00

Note : Details are 65.6% accurate, 34.4% fictitious.

On Sunday I went along with my parents and my sis to visit my aunt and uncle; and greet their son (i.e., my cousin) who had returned to Chennai after a glorious stay in the United Kingdom. We reached their house after an agonizingly long car ride.

Blah, blah, we met our relatives, *happiness in the air*, we exchanged pleasantries... There was the usual leg pulling,,,,

Once we went through all those formalities, we scattered to our favoured positions.

Drawing Room Discussion
My uncle and father began to debate at great length the different aspects of history, politics, socialism, the pros and cons of the Internet, and of course, their all time favourite : the insolence of the younger generation.
(Yawn.)
My aunt joined in now and then to put forward her theories.

The Sleepy People
My mother, presumably exhausted by the car ride decided to take a nap. Another cousin (the UK-Guy's Sister, or UKGS, as she shall be called henceforth) also took part in this activity with undying enthusiasm.

I'm on the comp, as usual.
I was using the net, searching for new blog skins. I found some, but wasn't able to apply any of them.
Error, flashed a message. The template could not be applied because the code was absolute garbled nonsense. If you're any better than the genius who did the coding, you'd alter it.
Or something like that.
I clicked a few random buttons in frustration. The result : my blog lay wounded and brutally deformed for a day and a half. Most of the stuff was missing. I could set things right only yesterday because UKGS pushed me away from the comp to complete an essay on psychology.

A piece of advice : If you're ever pushed to such incomprehensible levels of boredom that you decide to play a game known as Mafia Wars on Facebook, follow the random clicking method. It works wonders. I did so, and I received a message that looked like, You have been promoted to Level Two for your outstanding attack skills and have been awarded the Napoleon badge for courage. You also get 10 points, an energy pack, a few dozen sabre-toothed tigers and a salt cellar for your wonderful selection of random buttons to hit.
The game doesn't make any sense, I'm afraid. I'm clueless as to how to play by the rules. If there is a way to do so, that is.

And what's my sis up to again?
I noticed that my sister's voice was nowhere to be heard. This was not a good sign. She was either up to no good or surreptitiously planning how to be up to no good.
I turned around. My jaw dropped when I saw my sister write something on a piece of paper with a look of divine innocence. She turned her head to look at me. The look of innocence evaporated in a matter of seconds.
“What do foxes kill?” she asked.
“Kill, as in... To eat?”
“No, kill for eating.”
“Er... Rabbits, I think,” said I.
My sister hopped off her chair, singing what is to the best of my knowledge a song of her own composition. Very original and powerful lyrics.
“Raaabbit, Raaaabbit... Rabbitttttt, Raabeeeett.”
She woke up UKGS and began to speak. The conversation that followed was something like this -
Sis : What do foxes kill? To eat?
UKGS : Umm... Cats?
Me : Cats?!
Sis : Mouse?
Me : Rabbits.
Sis : Mouse, then.
Me : Rabbits!
Sis : Cat?
UKGS : Cat.
Me : CAT?!
UKGS : Cat.
Sis : Yes, cat.

She jotted it down. She then spotted UKGS's iTouch and decided to dispose of the sheet of paper.

Drawing Room Discussion : Part 2
The discussion began to move to its climax with lengthy lectures on marmite (bleh!), marmalade and other such items.

The Sleepy People : Part 2
Snore, snore.

...And my sister went barking mad.
I heard strange noises coming from the balcony. I went there and found my sister barking. At whom? Well, no one particular. Or so I thought at that point of time.
Roof! Roof! Arroof!
Me : Which dog you barking at?
Sis (giving me a look of exasperation) : I'm not barking at a dog!
Me : ?!
My sister pointed at a crow perched on a branch of a nearby tree.
Roof! Roofroof! Arrrroof!
Me : ?!
Sis : Join me in the barking.
Me : Er... No thanks.
I received sharp kick on my left leg.
“Roof,” I tried. Not very convincing.
Sis : You're no good! Go away!
I turned around and walked away, quite perplexed.
Behind me my sister continued barking : Roofroof! Arrrooof! Rooooof!
And then, “Come back, crow! Waaah!”

Drawing Room Discussion : Climax
The participants broke up for lunch.

Lunch
Scrumptious!
Interesting observation : When my mother served my cranky sister a spoon of raitha, the UK-guy jumped off his chair and made a leap for the nearest exit. I wasn't surprised. I was aware of the fact that he suffered from curdophobia. :P

Post lunch
My cousin gave me a Chelsea jersey he got from UK!! Don't care about other stuff! :D

Post post lunch
I choked on an M&M. We left.

The Unpleasant Evening

2009-11-12T03:48:00.000-08:00

Tuesday – the day before yesterday – evening was another ordinary one in my very ordinary life. But I learned a few important lessons. I discovered that the chances of a simple Democratic Politics assignment causing a man to contract a terrible disease are quite high. Fate also sent me a reminder of how crazy my sister can be sometimes.

So first : the assignment. Of course, this was announced weeks ago and I started working on it only on Tuesday, but that's besides the point. I reached home and discovered, much to my irritation that my printer was out of order. It's inexplicable how printers always fail to work at crucial times like this. Well, it's also a phenomenon we witness very often. So. What did I do? I took what I needed from the net and put it into a document. I saved it and sent it to myself along with a very rough draft of a radio show presentation we have to do soon.

I fished out a hundred rupee note from my father's wallet and ran down this stairs.

“It won't cost you so much, don't take a hundred!” my father called after me. “And I'm positive he won't have change,” he admonished.

I went on without heeding his words.

I walked all the way to a nearby Internet cafe, dodging puddles with every step. Ah, forgive me for not making a reference to the rains and puddles earlier. It's been pouring in Chennai for the past two days and we even got a rain holiday yesterday, i.e., on Monday. As per the Fundamental Law of Rain Holidays, there was hardly a drop of precipitation yesterday, but today, when we did have to go to school, the downpours were heavy.

Where was I again? Ah yes, I managed to reach the cafe in a short time and began using one of the comps there. And almost broke down in tears. Why? Because I use Linux. The document containing all the necessary things was saved in a format that couldn't be opened in Windows. However, the radio show presentation, which was only of secondary importance, I had converted into a doc file.

Swearing at myself, I asked the man in the cafe to print out the radio show thingy. He did so, and I offered him the hundred rupee note I had. He shrugged at me and said, “no change.”

I went from one shop to other begging for change but none of them had any. So I informed the man at the cafe that I was going home to fetch some change and he said OK. So I walked all the way back home. And it was dark then, so I wasn't very successful in not getting wet. I kept ending up in puddles and I'm probably infected with leptospirosis now. Simply fabulous.

I reached home, came to know that my father didn't have change (To add to my displeasure, my father made a few 'I told you so' kind of remarks.) and got some from my grandfather. Back at my place, I converted the assignment into a doc file. I tried to send it to myself, but hey... What did my Internet choose to do then? You guessed it. It wasn't working.

I went back to the Internet cafe, got wet again, and doubled my chances of getting infected. I reached there, told the man that I had some more work, collected all the necessary stuff for the assignment for the second time, payed the guy and left, walking homeward. Needless to say I got wet and dirty again.

I found a familiar face at home – it was the guy who'd come to repair the printer. He spent some time fiddling with it. That's when my sister was having a bath and I got a phone call.

Five minutes into the phone call, I heard my sister's voice. She was shouting from the washroom.

“Get me my umbrella!”

“What?!” I asked.

“My umbrella!”

“Why?”

“I need it!”

“But you're having a bath!” I protested.

My sister made a travesty of my protest and began to scream at me. I consulted my friend who was still on the phone, and after endless speculation we came to the conclusion that an umbrella was absolutely useless when one was bathing. Why, the very purpose of bathing is to get wet.

I tried to point this our to my sister, but she was in no mood for logical thinking.

“Just get me my umbrella.”

“OK.”

I went to my room, opened her umbrella and tried to close it, but wasn't able to do so. I had to walk all the way to the other room with an open umbrella. I met the printer repair guy on this journey and he looked at me as if I was an “unidentified UFO,” as a friend of mine would say.

So I gave my sister the umbrella. My friend and I had a nice laugh over the phone though I felt bitter on the inside.

This was one of those many days that made me want to get sucked into a black hole / vanish into oblivion.

Some lame convos and incidents

2009-11-07T02:42:00.000-08:00

Maths teacher (while teaching us statistics) : Now, suppose I visit a place where people wear only red shirts -
Student1 : Miss, Red Fort!
All of us looked at Student1 and grinned.
Maths teacher : Whaa?
Student1 : It's true, miss, people really wear read shirts at the Red Fort!
Maths Teacher : *Murmurs distractedly.*

Haha, Student1 is amazing when it comes to insulting people's intelligence.

Geography Teacher : Now, all the basic concepts of economics are explained through the story of an imaginary village in your reader. Palampur is an imaginary village where crops grow in -
Student2 : Miss, if the village is imaginary, how did crops grow there?

This happened way back when I was in Class Six :
History Teacher : The Gupta Empire.... *dozes off*
Chaos in the classroom.
History Teacher : The Gupta Empire... *dozes off again*
Chaos.
History Teacher (suddenly) : StudentX! StudentX! Come here now!! Come here! I'll thrash you!
All of us : Miss, StudentX is absent.

I run into a classroom ten minutes late, puffing and panting.
Teacher : Raman, why so late?
Me : Miss, I got late.
Teacher : OK, come in.

Gadgets. There was this time earlier this year in school when everyone began to bring gadgets to school (which was, of course, against school rules). Apparently, people started sending each other messages in class, the teacher heard it and notified the vice principal. So there was this raid sort of thing and everything was taken.
It was during this time that practice sessions for the Annual Day were going on. Taking advantage of that, a student convinced a teacher that his PSP was a memory card, and if it was connected to a cell phone, then he could provide background music for a skit. The teacher offered to give him a letter to steer him out of trouble, but the vice principal was too smart for that!
Of course, I chose this very day to absent myself, so I missed all the fun. I wasn't bringing gadgets to school anyway, for the primary reason that I didn't have any. Other than my iPod Shuffle, which didn't have any music in it then.
For a personal account of this incident, click here.

I'll sign off then, shall I? Yes, I shall.

Subway : Shocking Deals

2009-10-31T21:42:00.000-07:00

A slightly strange report by Special Correspondent Raman Sathiapalan.

CHENNAI : Information reached me ages ago that the popular dine-in and take-away place Subway launched a 'deal' thingy - You get a sub of the day and a coke for Rs 80. However, if you buy just a sub, you're made to pay 120 Rs.

My parents went to Subway's Besant Nagar outlet the other day and asked for four subs, part of the deal, but without the coke. But when they received the bill, it said Rs. 480. Doing some quick math, they figured out that they were being charged the actual price of the subs (hence the 4 x 120 = Rs 480).

They argued for a while, but the staff members were obstinate. "So finally," my father told me, "I was forced to capitulate. I asked them to give me the coke too."
The price was instantly reduced to Rs. 320, and my parents gained four glasses of coke.

"And they did it with a straight face, as if what they were doing was perfectly sane," my mother stated. "I was bubbling with laughter but managed to control myself for fear that they'll realize their folly and put it right."

Contrary to the popular saying (The merchant laughed all the way to the bank), here, The customers laughed all the way home.

Perhaps I've made a big mistake by posting this here. If a Subway official sees this, he'll immediately alert all the offices and this extraordinary deal will get removed from their list of offers.

I guess I've added the tag-line 'Offer for limited time period only.' to this deal most unintentionally. So hurry, folks. You know what to do. Rush to the nearest Subway and choose the deal.

---------------------------- END OF REPORT------------------------

Hello, readers. This is not the first time something like this is happened. I know of something similar : Long, long ago in Japan, when my grandfather took a vegetarian friend of his to a restaurant to dine, he saw (not surprisingly) at first glance that there was nothing vegetarian. On going through the menu again, he found a 'Vegetable Sandwich.' He ordered that. When the food came - "after an eternity of waiting," my grandfather added - he and his companion discovered, much to their horror, that the vegetable sandwich consisted of some sort of meat with a few onions and lettuce scattered here and there. My granddad called the waiter and asked him for the same sandwich, but without the meat.
He found after finishing his lunch that he was charged extra from removing the meat. He protested, but the waiter just shook his head and added solemnly, "Sorry, sir. Extra charge for no meat."

Well, I'll be damned.

Lost Symbol, Junk Music, Doomsday, etc.

2009-10-30T07:44:00.000-07:00

And I'm back with a not-so-dramatic BANG!

I wasn't awarded the Nobel Prize like I previously believed I would be, but that hasn't got me down. No, not one little bit. Various things have claimed my attention.

I've noticed that I have taken a liking to dividing my posts into subheadings. I shall do so here.

1. The Lost Symbol

After a delay of about a week and a half, I finally got to continue reading The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. The reviews said it s disappointing. I think it's better than the reviews say it is. It's got me hooked, but the only thing I find frustrating about it is he Dan Brown keeps using phrases like "Shocking research being conducted..." and "the Secret Teaching of Ancient Wisdom" for entire chapters without actually telling us what all that really is. I suppose that's the whole point of a thriller : suspense, but I stand by what I say - it gets irritating at a few stretches. Hope to finish it by tomorrow.

2. 2012 Doomsday

We were made to watch a movie 2012 Doomsday in the Audio Visual room of our school yesterday. Incidentally, the movie has not been released yet. A guy in my batch downloaded it off YouTorrent. A friend of mine stated, "the school is indirectly encouraging the use of pirated VCDs." It was loads of fun anyway; my mates and I went for the movie some 20 minutes late and sat right at the front commenting all along without bothering to watch. Good times! =D

3. Junk Music

I don't know what suddenly got us so interested in this, but for the past three days we've been staying back for about 20 mins after school banging the tables with our hands, rulers, pencils and geometry boxes. We've got some really nice rhythms, the last one being a savu koothu. It's the kind of music that's played after someone dies... It's amazing and the drums go craaazy.
We've even got two guys to dance for us... It's going to be recorded tomorrow and posted on Facebook. I'll probably post it on this blog too. We've practiced a lot so I'm reasonably sure it'll come out nicely tomorrow. I've got some neat moves planned out for the dancers. =D

Farewell for now. I hope to continue blogging next week.

The only good title I can think of for this post is 'Lame Update.'

2009-10-17T04:10:00.000-07:00

The Navaratri hols have come and gone - school started two weeks ago and a lot of things have happened. However I shall refrain from describing all of that. And skip to more important matters.

I

I am pleased to announce that I'll soon be winning the Nobel Prize for... er, Miscellaneous Activities, let's say. Why, you may ask. Before I answer you, take a good look at this post... And tell me how it is different from the other posts. Go on, take your time...
Haha, you're stumped, aren't you? OK, OK, I'll tell you. Look at the apostrophes in this post and then look at the ones in the previous post. Notice the difference?

Until a few days ago all my apostrophes would appear like this : ´ . I had to press the key twice for it to appear. Little did I know that there was a terribly scientific way of making the apostrophes appear like this : ' .

Like most great discoveries, I stumbled upon this process by accident. On one sunny historic day, as I was typing, I pressed the apostrophe key once and then hit 'space.' And the apostrophe appeared the normal way, the way it appears in most computers.

I was fascinated by this discovery and extended my brilliant research a little bit and came to more conclusions. The quotation sign appeared until now as ¨ when I hit Shift+Apostrophe twice. Now I hit Shift+Apostrophe+Space to get " .

I'm expecting a call from the Norwegian Nobel Committee soon after I publish this post.

II

Diwali!! The festival of light is on in India. Millions of firecrackers... What fun!! Well yes, there's all that talk about going green and harming the atmosphere my burning crackers, but well, I shall give in to temptation and celebrate.

It's gonna be amazing tonight... Look to the skies!! Let the festivities begin..! (Ta-daa!)

Happy Diwali, and adios for now!

The Lone Wolf : Mark II *

2009-09-29T00:59:00.000-07:00

Out it spread, the Full Moon night

O´er the pond reflecting its light.

The pond lay with a subtle shimmer

Silvery water and a little glimmer.

All was quiet except the leaves´ rustle,

the wind´s howl, and the wind´s bustle.

´Till a wolf with a graceful leap

Went o´er the pond (silent and deep).

Whoosh, he went at a searing pace

Against death he was on a race;

He´d been running for a night and a day

And had eaten nothing on the way.

He kept running, he wasn´t gonna slack.

He was hunting for the rest of his pack

He was on an all important quest

He simply had to locate the rest.

With silent steps and bristling fur

With rhythmic breath and a weary grr

He ran, leaving the wilderness behind

His pack was the only thing on his mind;

Until finally he stopped and sniffed the air,

He was sure of it : there was danger there.

Littered corpses...

The scent of blood...

Two-legged creatures...

Death.

His comrades were gone...

Not a single one spared...

Two-legged creatures...

Anguish.

Mourning his loss, he turned and ran

Away from what is known as Man.

And stopped only when

Exhaustion crippled him.

His eyes betrayed him, and his legs too

There was only one thing left to do.

His body was stiff,

he´d reached a cliff.

In despair he tossed his head high

And looked to the ends of the vast night sky

Beside him the moon and the bright moonlight;

He sat, howling into the night.

*This little poem is called The Lone Wolf : Mark II, because I already wrote Mark I ages ago. Mark I had a happy ending with the wolf finding his pack. I thought an ending like this would be better... And well, a scene like this - where the wolf is left howling into the night - stays in the mind and creates a clear image. And I added this picture at the end of the poem just for fun...

Freedom is here. Finally.

2009-09-28T04:07:00.000-07:00

I sit here, on the third day of my hols, listening to Thunda Clap by Dr Burn, stare into the screen, and my mind goes blank. Not surprising. The lazy atmosphere that comes with hols has seeped into my skin. Anyway... I´ve bid my quarterly exams farewell... And I repeat for what seems like the tenth time : the hols are here. Don´t blame me : There´s nothing much to say...

Well, I did go to Marry Brown as part of a huge gang on the last day of school. And yes, we drove everyone there mad...But that and watching a movie are just about what I can write about. I reached home later that day. I celebrated my freedom for a while, and at about 2 in the afternoon I got a call, inviting me to watch Unnai Pol Oruvan (Someone Like You), a remake of the movie A Wednesday.
I went with two of my friends for the 6:45 show in Abirami Mega Mall.

Now about the movie : -

UPO, starring Kamal Haasan and Mohan Lal, is, without doubt, stunning. I don´t know if it´s better than the original because I haven´t seen A Wednesday. But the movie is very well done. Kamal´s acting was really good this time, and Mohan Lal does his bit perfectly, as usual.

The main plot of the movie is actually quite simple : An anonymous caller informs a policeman that he has placed bombs in strategic locations in the city. He puts forward some demands, and well, the rest of the story revolves around this.The role of the anonymous caller is played by Kamal and Mohan Lal plays I.G. Raghavan Maraar, an unfortunate cop.

UPO impresses throughout, and the ending is mind blowing - we didn´t see it coming. The humour does not seem forced at any point of the movie, and brings in a few laughs. The rest of the movie is full of thrills, tension and suspense. Kamal´s dialogues are well delivered, all though they do get a bit long towards the end (but do not fail to entertain). Mohan Lal performs with style - I loved the way he kept slipping into Malayalam whenever he got too tensed. Classic!

I have no clue why the posters for Unnai Pol Oruvan say Music - Shruti Haasan. I mean, the songs are nice, but none of them actually appear in the movie (which is a good thing - no one wants movies like this one to get spoiled by annoying song sequences).

After the movie, I spent the night at my friend´s house (the following fact may interest you : We went to sleep at 3:30 and woke up at 8).

On this note, I end this post abruptly. Lemme go get some sleep.

Life never fails to impress.

2009-08-21T05:47:00.000-07:00

So it´s happened. The thing I was praying for... Our school has closed down for three days, and adding the weekend, it gives me five holidays. The cause : A second grader in our school was tested positive for Swine Flue. (I´m praying for that person...)
So anyway, this is the third day of my short break from school. There´s loads to write about, so...

I shall now babble about a few things closely related to the topic. Wow, I sound like some Physics textbook. Except for the ´babbles´ part. And the things I´m gonna babble about aren´t all that closely related.
Oh, and the topic here is my school closing down.

1) Ignorance is bliss... As long as you´re not the ignorant person.

If there´s one thing I´ve learned in my thirteen years on this sphere we call the Earth, it´s that there are two kinds of people. One kind assumes that you know everything there is to be known. The other assumes that you´re absolutely ignorant of everything that´s going on around you.
It´s the second group that I´m going to babble about.
On that fateful Tuesday, when our principal declared the following three days holidays for sanitizing the school, spirits were high. Yes they were. It´s funny how our minds worked... We knew full well that there was a second grader who had Swine Flu and there we were, celebrating that moment, when we knew we had five whole free days ahead of us... It´s not that we were insensitive or anything... It´s just that... I don´t know...
Anyway, coming back to the point, here´s what I wanted to say : That evening, after I got back from school, I went on Facebook. Within five minutes, there were at least ten chat windows open with people asking me if I knew the school had declared holidays. I was stunned by that. I mean, I was one of the first that got to know... It was I who was parading around the grounds, shouting with joy, hi5-ing everyone, and these people come and ask me if I was aware of our good fortune... If there was one person in the school who didn´t know the hols, I´m willing to change my name.
Anyway, that´ all I basically wanted to say on this topic. :P

2) The irony of the situation...

Picture this. A school declares a holiday because one person´s got Swine Flue. And two days later, twelve (or thirteen, or maybe even more, I´m not sure) students visit an air conditioned hall where the probability of catching the flu is extremely high to watch a movie. This is exactly what´s happening.
And I would have been one of them. But you see, I´m one of those not-so-privileged people. My parents always get in the way. I know I sound very foolish, but I´m serious...After a long drawn out war with my father(which I lost), it was decided that I wouldn´t go for the movie. And I was cribbing about it for a while... I really wanted to go for the movie, and I still do. Anyway, it´s too late now. The show started at 6:40. Okay, I know I´m being really short sighted and all, but this Kanthsamy we´re talking about! Oh, did I tell you? The movie they´re going to is கந்தசாமி (Kanthsamy), starring Vikram and Shreya. It´s probably one of the most hyped movies of the year.
It´s this superhero movie...

3) As always, there´s a football match to bring some cheer into my life...

It was a match I didn´t play in, I was a sub (the match was mainly for tenth graders), but I won´t deny the fact that we had an awesome time! The van ride was cool, and we had fun after the match was over too. Incidentally, we lost the match by one goal to St. John´s School. Before leaving home, I and a couple of my friends stopped at Orchard, a fast food place next to my school.

4) Oh, was I going to say something? Sorry, I forgot what was on my mind.

Well, I have to say something, haven´t I? Even if it´s has nothing to do with the subject of my babbling? Okay, I will.
Download Aadhavan songs! they´re awesome!

Adios!

On Swine Flue and Science Projects...

2009-08-13T03:51:00.000-07:00

I do not apologize for not blogging for such a long time, and I do not feel unhappy for doing so, not one little bit, because this is my blog, and I can do whatever I want with it.

Sorry for that slightly rude introduction. I couldn´t think of anything else at that moment. Let me try another one.

Me (Waving about a beautiful picture of a brook my grandmother drew for me [I needed it for some sort of an English assignment] that I ruined by outrageous colouring) : Look! Look at this beautiful piece of art!

Friend 1 : Bwahahahaha! (Bursts out laughing)

Me : What? Isn´t it amazing?

Friend 2 : (Begins to laugh, but passes it off as violent coughing with mock politeness)

Me, Friend 1 : OHMYGOD!! You´re coughing!! Quarantine! Quarantine!

Much better.

Yes, the dreaded H1N1 has reached India. With the death toll rising, and the number of affected people increasing almost exponentially, chaos has taken over the country, and of course, Chennai. Many schools all over the city have shut down. Not mine, though.

Nowadays in school, light hearted chitter chatter about random things has been replaced by serious discussions on Swine Flue, occasionally punctuated with a few jokes on the same subject. Huge numbers of students were sent home from school for having ´flu like symptoms.´ It is not very clear what fraction of these symptoms was genuine.

Anyway, because of this irritating swine flu, a science project which I was part of got canceled. Forget the science project, for the time being it seems like one of our football tournaments is gonna get canceled as well! Things can hardly get worse, can they? Hmph. I bet they will.

Students have begun to turn up in school with those N-95 masks in school, and we´re all finding that highly amusing though we´re aware of the gravity of the situation. I once told one of these ´masked´ people that he looked like Vijaykanth in a scene where he´s a doctor and performs an operation using cell phones for light because the power went off. Haha, have you seen that? It´s hilarious!
Go take a look :

Vijaykanth Cell Phone Comedy

Haha...

Well, I´ve gotta run. And study for a chemistry test. Or maybe I won´t have to, if the government declares tomorrow a holiday. Remind me to watch the news later this evening...

Dream Big

2009-06-28T02:06:00.000-07:00

On top of the world, beaming, I stood
Staring into the distance, as far as I could
I saw vast expanses of barren land.
Laughing uncontrollably, I held up my hand
And planted my green flag of victory
At the peak of the mountain, so everyone could see.
Proudly I looked up, my throat dry
I looked up to the all pervasive sky
Possessed by a feeling of chaotic peace
I lifted my left foot, bending my knees.
To the entire world, my accomplishment I displayed
Atop the mountain, balancing, I stayed.
At that poignant moment, brimming with emotion,
I failed to notice my precarious position
A huge gust of wind blew me off my feet.
At that instant, victory didn´t seem too sweet.
I sailed downwards at a tremendous pace
Glancing at my father´s worried face...
My intrepid father made a crude leap in haste
To save me from my cruel fate.
¨Careful, kid,¨ he calmly said,
¨You´d have fallen and broken your head.
It´s very late, time to go home.¨
Did he understand my frustration -
No, I don´t think he did.
It´s hard, being a three-year-old kid.
From my father´s shoulder, I turned and stared
(Though my broken pride could never be repaired)
Wistfully at the crowded beach...

My sand mountain had gotten crushed...
An insensitive person had stepped on it...
Great boulders (little pebbles) lay scattered around...
And my flag of victory – the little green leaf
Had been stolen by a diabolical thief.
But no, I was wrong, the flag was there,
Torn to shreds and floating in the air.
I tried to maintain my composure...
But in vain... I burst into tears...
In despair, tossed my head
To look at the sky...
Father said : I´ll get you some peanuts, don´t cry.

The Great Galactic Race : Chapter One.

2009-05-07T05:20:00.000-07:00

THE GREAT GALACTIC RACE

CHAPTER ONE : THE STRANGE RED THING IN THE ATTIC

/*Note - Once you finish reading this, you will have no idea what The Great Galactic Race is, but don´t worry about that.*/

Surya entered the dusty, dingy room with a pronounced scowl set upon his face. This wasn´t exactly where he wanted to be. But he had come to the attic for a purpose, and planned to make a quick exit as soon as possible.

Thirteen – year – old Surya was spending his vacation at his grandparents´ ancestral home. His parents had gone out for the day and his grandparents were fast asleep. A storm had just broken out a minute ago. The inclement weather prevented prevented him from indulging in his not - so – favourite pastime of insulting the neighbours´ cat. He came to the attic to see if there were any science magazines or sci – fi stories.

Surya ducked to avoid contact with a particularly large cobweb and then got the shock of his life. Something materialized in thin air two feet above the ground and immediately hit the floor. A red something. A strange red something.

¨No!¨ the unlikely visitor howled. It´s grating voice was unmistakably male. ¨Nooooooooooooo!!!!! Please, no!!!!!!! Aaaaaarrrgggghhhh!!¨
The red creature banged his head on the floor several times and wailed loudly.
Surya watched, dumbfounded.
¨Er... hello?¨ he said awkwardly, after a while.
The creature stopped weeping abruptly and noticed the boy. It stood up. Six feet tall.
¨I come in peace,¨ it declared loudly. ¨Creature, I mean you no harm. Could you please take me to your Ruler, or the nearest Time Centre? I´ll explain myself to the authorities Please, it´s an emergency.¨
Surya blinked.
¨Are you deaf?¨ asked the creature after a long moment.
¨N – No...¨ Surya stammered.
¨Oh, good,¨ the red thing said simply.
¨Where did you come from? Who are you? How did you get here?¨ Surya blurted out.
The creature sighed.
¨I shall answer your questions in the order which you posed them,¨ the creature said. ¨Number one. I come from Sora. Number Two. I´m Crosbist. And Number Three. I reached here after falling into a half naked singularity.¨
¨A what?¨
¨A half naked singularity.¨
¨What on earth is that?!¨
¨Half naked singularities are very common,¨ said the creature. ¨But I do not know what you mean by ´earth.´ ¨
¨It´s... er... the planet,¨ said Surya. ¨But never mind that. What is a half naked singularity?¨
¨You know what a black hole is?¨ asked Cosbist.
¨Yeah,¨ Surya answered. He was an avid reader of magazines on cosmology.
¨You know what a singularity is?¨
¨Yeah, it´s that point at the end of the black hole...¨
¨Where space - time curves in all kinds of ways, and all that, yes,¨ continued Crosbist. ¨A naked singularity is the point of singularity without the event horizon.¨
¨Okay...¨
¨And a half naked singularity is an artificially modified naked singularity to suite our needs for travelling through space and time.¨
¨Aah...¨
¨Now take me to a Time Centre,¨ ordered Crosbist.
¨We don´t have any of those,¨ said Surya.
¨What? Which year is this?¨
¨2009.¨
¨Two thousand- wait, that´s your time, isn´t it... well, let´s which year it is according to Soran years.¨
Crosbist picked up a black bag that had been lying on the ground. Surya hadn´t noticed the bag before. Crosbist opened the bag and took out a strange pen shaped object from it. He pressed a few buttons on it.
¨Holy positron!¨ he exclaimed, beads of sweat running down his large forehead. ¨I´ve come back a million years in time!¨
¨How long is one year for you people?¨
¨Seven hundred and thirty days, where one day has 24 hours, each hour has 60 minutes, each minute has sixty seconds.¨
¨So you come from two million earth - years in the future!¨ screamed Surya.
¨Great,¨ said Crosbist. And then, ¨what galaxy is this?¨
¨The Milky Way.¨
¨Thank God. And which planet?¨
¨The Earth.¨
¨Oh, yes, you mentioned that before...¨
¨So there´s only one thing I can possibly do now,¨ said Crosbist matter-of-factly. ¨I must reach Kroon. And fast.¨
¨Kroon?¨
¨It´s a planet,¨ said Crosbist distractedly, waving his arm. He paced up and down the attic.
¨You have space ships, I suppose?¨ he said at last.
¨Um... well... not really...¨
¨Darn it, what kind of prehistoric planet is this?!¨
Suddenly an eerie sound filled the air. It came from Crosbist´s bag. Crosbist reached into the bag and took out another strange looking object, which seemed to responsible for the noise.
¨A space ship,¨ he said, excitement flooding into his two hearts. ¨It´s gonna land nearby, any minute. We´ve gotta go, right now.¨
¨We?¨ asked Surya worriedly.

The silver planet Kroon is also usually referred to as the Land of Time and Space. It has been developing means of traveling through space and time for the last four million years (with relation to Surya´s time) ; particularly the two countries in the Northern hemisphere of the planet.

A long, long, long, long time ago, the two countries in the northern hemisphere of Kroon had been wild jungles. The Stretaks, Vgohkons and Jiqres ; the primitive reptiloid indigenous tribes of those regions spent their lives hunting Lagallions, large giraffe like animals. One cold night, a strange space ship landed on the barren land. An alien crowd of humanoids walked out of it. In the next seven days, these aliens wiped out all the original inhabitants of the land and made the planet their own.

The descendants of these humanoids ruled the planet now. A large percent of the population devoted their lives to research of travel through space and time.

Surya and the red alien ran along the countryside, much to the amazement of a few farmers. In a minute or so they reached a wide open rice field. Only, the field had more weeds than rice. It was a long abandoned field. Seven thousand miles above their heads, a medium sized space ship hovered steadily.

The space ship belonged to Araraba, a particularly bad tempered being from the planet Olarha. Presently, the reason for his bad temper was that the computer of his ship wasn´t working. Araraba was always angry, even if there was nothing to be angry about. Especially when everyone else was happy. Araraba shouted at his assistant to vent his rage, kicked the computer a couple of times, tore the dustbin apart and drank a cup of steaming hot crog. Crog was the equivalent of coffee in the planet of Olarha.

¨Get the darn machine to work, N-36,¨ Araraba shouted at his assistant, ¨or I´ll sell you to Qwengle as a slave!¨
¨Er, who´s Qwengle, sir?¨ asked N-36 politely.
¨Shut up and get back to work!¨ Araraba roared. He wasn´t going to tell N-36 that Qwengle, the notorious slave dealer was his ex-girlfriend who had dumped him because of his addiction to Srith cigars.
¨May I suggest,¨ began N-36 slowly. ¨That we forget the computer? All this time we had the computer to drive for us, but now that it isn´t working, I think I can take over as pilot.¨
¨Of course!¨ howled Araraba. ¨What do you think I´ve been asking you to do all this time, dumb skull? Get to work, imbecile, and look smart about it!¨
N-36 sighed and got to work, and tried his best to look smart about it.
¨Not smart enough,¨ growled Araraba.

Down below, Crosbist and Surya stood waiting. Crosbist was staring up at the sky waiting for a space ship to emerge.
Surya chose to take a good look at his new found companion. The six foot tall alien was red in colour from head to toe. His head was oddly shaped, with two stumps for ears. He had large muscular, powerful arms and a palm with four small fingers. His legs were much the same. The funniest things about his new friend were the two tentacle like outgrowths from his back. They were rubbery – Surya hadn´t touched them but he knew just the same - and looked like two long pipes. Surya was just about to ask Crosbist the function of these things when Crosbist produced a sound that was somewhere in between a roar and a growl. The space ship loomed over them.

Slowly, steadily, majestically, the vehicle landed a few feet in front out of them. A door swung open. Slowly, steadily and not so majestically, Araraba waddled out of the spaceship. The green alien was about three feet tall, had three eyes and cut an awkward figure holding a gun.

¨Creatures,¨ began Araraba dramatically. ¨Bow to your new master.¨
Crosbist doubled up laughing. Araraba shook his hand holding the laser pistol threateningly. ¨I said, bow!¨ he bellowed. Crosbist exploded with laughter.
¨Shut up and bow or I start shooting,¨ ordered Araraba.
¨You´re gonna shoot me with that outdated piece of junk?¨ asked Crosbist through fits of laughter.
¨Er...yes, I think so,¨ said Araraba weakly. This guy calls this ultramordern weapon an outdated piece of junk? he thought to himself.
Crosbist walked up to Araraba and gave his hand a deft twist. His gun fell down. Crosbist knocked the bad tempered alien down with a blow. Araraba collapsed. Crosbist picked up the gun and proceeded towards the space ship.
¨Come on, let´s go,¨ he said.
Surya followed him, completely at a loss of words.

N-36 heard footsteps approaching, and sighed heavily.
¨Back so soon, sir?¨ he called. ¨You took less time to conquer a world than I took to make you another mug of Crog.¨
¨A mug of what?¨
¨Crog, sir,¨ N-36 repeated. ¨You asked me to...¨ He stopped and turned around.
Light fell on the two figures in the doorway and illuminated their features. But N-36 was unable to make anything of them.
¨You are, er... inhabitants of this planet?¨ asked N-36.
¨He is, I´m not,¨ came Crosbist´s reply as he pointed to Surya.
¨And what have you done to Mister Araraba?¨
¨We... er... knocked him down,¨ said Crosbist.
¨Really?¨ asked N-36.
¨Yes, I think so.¨
An evil grin came across N-36´s face. He said : ¨Congratulations, sir. Thank you very much. I will never forget this and repay you in any way I can.¨
Crosbist gaped in astonishment. ¨Sorry?¨
N-36 continued to grin. ¨I was just about fed up with that creep. Thank you so much for everything. I don´t think there´s anything I can possibly do to repay you, so... I´ll be on my way...¨
¨Ah, ah, ah, wait an earth-minute,¨ said Crosbist with a smirk. ¨You might be of some use to us after all.¨

The eight foot tall N-36 was, in short, a butler. There were only two races in the planet of Olarha : the Tall Race and the Short Race. Both races were similar, except, as the names suggest, the Tall Race was tall and the Short Race was short. For some reason, the Tall Race had been serving the Short Race for twenty five generations. No one knew how it started, but it had been like that for as long as everyone could remember.

As fate would have it, N-36 was destined to serve the most bad tempered member of the Short Race in Olarha, Captain Araraba. He had followed the captain across the Galaxy to the most terrifying planets and all he got was insults. And occasionally a slap. The slaps had also been increasing in frequency for the last few months ; so it was only natural that N-36 was tremendously relieved when he learned that he had a chance of leaving the captain on some godforsaken planet and escape forever.

Crosbist found the extreme low-tech-ness of the space ship quite disconcerting. He grimaced as his eyes fell on the archaic, no, long obsolete controls of the ship.
Well, something is better than nothing, thought Crosbist before trying to switch on the computer. The screen remained blank.
¨It´s not working,¨ Crosbist observed.
¨Yes, that got Mister Araraba in quite a bad mood,¨ said N-36. ¨Want some crog?¨
¨Er, no thanks,¨ said Crosbist. The very sound of that drink made him depressed.
Crosbist examined the various parts of the computer and finally discovered what the problem was.
¨The idiot you were serving,¨ he told N-36, ¨thought the Power Absorber was an ashtray. By the looks of it, he´s been dumping used cigarettes here for a century or two.¨
¨Quite possible,¨ noted N-36.
¨Anyway, it´s blocked the inlet ; so give me a hand here, Mr ...¨
The butler completed the sentence : ¨N-36.¨
¨N-36,¨ repeated Crosbist.
N-36 bent down and began helping Crosbist.

Surya stared with awe around him. He couldn´t believe what he was seeing. This was centuries ahead of anything they had on earth. Oh... if only he´d brought his camera along...
¨Hey kid, come and take your seat,¨ Crosbist called.
Surya obeyed. The seat was quite comfortable.
¨Fasten your seat belts, everyone,¨ said Crosbist. ¨It´s gonna be a bumpy ride.¨
¨It is?¨ asked N-36.
¨Well, not really...¨

Ten minutes into the journey, Crosbist asked asked Surya : ¨What´s your name, kid?¨
¨Surya.¨
¨Nice name,¨ commented Crosbist.
¨Yeah,¨ agreed N-36. ¨I think I´ll make you all some dinner.¨
¨There´s food on this ship?¨ asked Surya delightedly.
¨Of course! Mister Arabara used to eat like a Googaharch!¨
¨A googa-what?¨
¨Harch.¨
¨And that is?¨
¨Oh, it´s a huge animal that er.... eats a lot...¨
N-36 went to the kitchen.
¨So tell me more about how you fell into this half naked singularity,¨ Surya said slowly to Crosbist.
¨There´s nothing much to say,¨ said Crosbist. ¨It was part of the GGR, and someone shot my space-time curvature detector, and another craft kinda bumped into me, and I sort of just fell into the half naked singularity.¨
Of course, Surya didn´t comprehend a thing.
Crosbist shuddered. ¨I,¨ he continued, ¨got transported to your time. Wonder where my ship went, though.¨
Surya said something like ¨Ah.¨
A worried expression crossed Crosbist´s face.
¨They´ll probably fine me for going through it without a permit. But then again, I didn´t do it intentionally...¨
¨Ah,¨ Surya said once more.

APPROXIMATELY TWO MILLION YEARS LATER

Two fishoid figures floated gently in the infinite dark tunnel of emptiness. Each of them held something that looked like a vacuum cleaner in one of their hands (yes, they did have hands).
¨Darn, poor guy,¨ said one.
¨Hmmm,¨ said the other.
¨Crosbist was so good. Always hoped he would win. Sad thing, falling in here,¨ the first one said.
¨Ras, take a look at this,¨ the other said.
¨What is it, Jub?¨ asked Ras.
¨This is really bad,¨ said Jub, sweating profusely. He looked terribly worried. He was staring at the digital screen of the machine he was holding.
¨Oh, what is it?¨ Ras asked again.
¨You know Harkafaan?¨ asked Jub.
¨The crazy brilliant guy?¨
¨Yes.¨
The renegade mad scientist was well known inside Law Enforcement. Outside it too, for that matter.
¨He seems to have gone through here too,¨ said Jub.
Ras gulped. ¨That´s bad.¨
¨Harkafaan shouldn´t be traveling through space and time,¨ said Jub. ¨He shouldn´t even be traveling through space. He´s supposed to be locked up in Galactic Prison. He seems to have gone back ten years more than Crosbist.
¨I think we should inform the Commander,¨ said Ras.
¨No need for all that,¨ said Jub. ¨If we inform the Commander it´ll all turn into a Galactic calamity. The Authorities have enough things to worry about, with the GGR and all. All we have to do is this : send Pseudo to Harkafaan. He´ll take care of everything.¨
That sounded a very sensible thing to do and Ras nodded his head in agreement.

PRESENT DAY

Life in the city of Sfarsa in the planet Kroon continued in its normal way.

A mega scyscraper stood overlooking the sea. The words x ´o´ clock @ y were painted in large golden letters on the building. Extraordinary developments were taking place in that building.

Inside the building...

¨Yes, sir, your new weapon is simply fabulous! Ingenious idea, sir, I don´t know how you come up with them. I can´t believe they haven´t given you the Galactic Prize yet,¨ said Bydar, the biggest sycophant in the Galaxy.
¨That is very kind of you, Bydar.¨ Harkafaan´s voice was smooth and cold. ¨But I appreciate work more than flattery.¨
Bydar turned red and continued with his work, which involved polishing Harkafaan´s desk.
He has enough technology to clean up the entire planet, thought Bydar, and he still makes me manually clean his desk. A terrible desk too. I hate it. Ugh.

Harkafaan was a scientist straight out of a movie. An odd shaped head, pointed glasses and large teeth sticking out in all directions...

When a young boy (that is, two million years in the future), Harkafaan was the exact opposite of his younger brother, being reticent and shy. He was extremely studious and had an awful case of stammering. His brother, on the other hand, was out going, good looking and a great sportsman. So, naturally, he got all the attention and Harkafaan was ignored.

Harkafaan, fed up of being treated like dirt decided to do something great ; something unprecedented ; something so amazing that he would be the talk of the Galaxy and his bro would be forgotten forever. He was fascinated by the subject of time travel and soon got a degree, graduating from the J.U.Y University. Kroon was already the centre for research of time/space travel, and so it was the perfect place to settle down to do some research.

Hakrafaan was discovered conducting horrifying research – he had been trying to bring a super-being race from the seventeenth dimension to destroy most of the Western half of the Galaxy. He was caught and locked up in Galactic Prison.

Harkafaan came up with an ingenious plan to escape from Galactic Prison (which involved creating keys made of antimatter and very large sandwiches containing huge doses of sleeping pills). On escaping from Galactic Prison, he reached Kroon undetected. Once he reached Kroon he formulated a diabolical fool proof scheme that would enable him to destroy the Western half of the Galaxy. He hated the beings that inhabited the Western half. Nasty little creeps.

To put his plan into action, Harkafaan embarked on a journey that took him to a certain half naked singularity...

ARARABA´S SHIP, PRESENT DAY

¨So can you tell me something more about half naked singularities?¨ the determined Surya persisted.
Crosbist gave Surya a look of exasperation. He pilled out another device from his mysterious black bag. But this device, to Surya looked similar to the laptops found on planet Earth. He pressed a few buttons and handed it over to Surya.
¨That´ll tell you all you want to know, Earthboy,¨ said Crosbist.

The major development in space/time traveling came with the creation of half naked singularities. Well, technically, it´s impossible to actually create a half naked singularity. What is actually done is this – a strategically located singularity is modified by Curvo-tronic machines [see Page 236795087]. The process of modification is too complicated to explain, and most people do not understand it fully, even the people who designed Curvo-tronic machines aren´t really sure what they´ve done.

Coming back to the point, after the Curvo-tronic machines do their work, you have a readily formed half naked singularity. A perfect portal that enables you to travel in space and time. Once you enter the dark HNS (half naked singularity), you must be sure to get to the Setter as soon as possible. The Setter is a device fixed to the walls of the HNS (well, they don´t actually have walls, but they appear to, and you can assume them to exist because they don´t appear to not exist and you couldn´t fix a Setter anywhere else but on the non-existing yet existing, well, assumed to be existing – Oh, forget it! It´s all a horrible case of Relativity, so let´s just say they exist). You punch in the time and place you want to go to in the Setter and the HNS takes you there. The portal closes immediately after you reach the required destination. So if you want to go back to your own time, you must find another half naked singularity, and cannot use the same one

CAUTION – If you do not get to the Setter in time, the HNS takes you wherever it wants. And usually, in such instances it takes you very far back in time ; and to the most desolate godforsaken planet in existence.

Make sure you get to the Setter in about 30 Grofian seconds [for conversion into your time scale go to page 39769012965] {for the convenience of the reader – one Grofian second is about 1.5 earth seconds}. Actually, the exact time you have to reach the Setter is unknown and underivable because it varies from person to person (another terrible case of Relativity).

Note – It is against the Galactic Law to enter a HNS without a permit. Breaking the law could earn you seven hundred years in Galactic Prison.

For the first time in his life, Surya whistled.
¨Now that is quite something,¨ he said to himself.

¨Okay, beings,¨ Crosbist suddenly roared. ¨We´re approaching the spaceport of Kroon!¨
Surya stared in awe at the gigantic silver planet below them.

To be continued...

And so ends another episode of my life.

2009-04-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

The title says it all, really. This particularly ghastly episode of my life is finally over, and it´s back to the fun episodes. Okay, that´s enough metaphors.

My exams are over, and summer vacations have started. 100% enjoyment, all the way. Nothing much to say now, other than this - my next post will be another story (hahaha) which I´m working on now.

So get ready for some mind boggling science fiction.
Stay tuned.

Almost reached the Gates of Hell...

2009-03-21T00:50:00.001-07:00

Exams, exams, go away ; DON´T come again another day!

I know I haven´t blogged in ages. There´s a reason - it´s not because I was preparing for my exams (which start on Wednesday), it´s because I was enjoying. It´s strange ; all this while I had the time to blog, but I didn´t. And it´s now that I´m blogging, in the midst of all this slogging. Wow. Good rhyme.

I just realized that most of my friends have finished all the subjects once already. And I started just yesterday. Barely completed one subject. Scary.

Now, directly to the updates.

1. Something good - I got selected for the Infosys CTY programme. I´m supposed to attend a camp from 17th to 29th April from 9 to 5.

2. That´s about it.

Actually, there is one more thing to talk about, and that´s the debate we had recently. As part of a History project, we were divided into groups, speaking for or against the British rule. I was part of a group speaking for the British rule.

So here´s what I said....

Ask someone what they think about the British rule in India, and they will most probably condemn it, calling it a curse. But this view is not entirely accurate. The British raj did have its many positive effects.

Often we come across this law that exists in nature ; when something is done, the reaction counters the action. Two things of which I shall speak of now vividly illustrate this law.

Number One is the introduction of English education in India. Macaulay introduced English education with the evil intentions of creating a generation of clerks that would help the British with the administration. But his plan backfired. This English education opened the door to science and technology, because English was the language of science and mathematics then. Not only that, it spread ideas like democracy, socialism, nationalism, liberty, equality, etc. which, in turn, led to the downfall of the British. But that wasn´t all. This English education resulted in the high standard of English we have in India today. And this is what enables us to outdo other nations like China in the flourishing IT industry.

The second thing is the construction of the railways. I agree, the British were exploiting. They built the railways only for transporting the raw materials that they obtained from India. But hundreds of Indians were employed in building the railways, and this raised their standard of living, and so, automatically modernized their way of thinking. It also brought the many different regions of India closer together. And once again, this led to the downfall of the British.

And so, to conclude I would like to say that I agree that the British were economically exploiting India, and that their policies were all made to suit their own selfish motives. But some of these were, in fact, beneficial for us. And what matters in such things is not the intentions of the British, but the effects their policies had on our country.

So, how´s it? I know, it isn´t much, but I had only a minute and a half to speak. Anyway, I´ll probably blog next only after our exams are done, and that´s on the 4th of April.

Goodbye for now, friends. We shall meet again. Soon.

Path to Victory : Epilogue

2009-03-07T01:12:00.000-08:00

EXCERPT FROM KARTHIK´S DIARY.

Dear Diary,

I can´t believe it, but it seems I´m a hero. Well, I know I deserve it, after all that I did, but still. Being a hero! It´s just too much. Wherever I go, people stare at me. I can hear them whisper behind my back.
¨Look, that´s the boy who saved Chennai from the clutches of ´Kokki´ Kumar.¨

I love it. Appa and Amma are back to normal now, all their being hypnotized vanished as soon as they saw me. My parents are proud of me, I´m not denying that. But I still got my dose of spanking for smoking a cigarette. After all, that´s how this whole thing started.

¨I´m going to keep a close watch on you from now on, young man,¨ Appa told me two days ago. He muttered something else under his breath.

¨I almost lost you once, Karthik. It´s not gonna happen again.¨

I know what he said, but he´s under the impression that I didn´t hear him.

It´s all that Sravan´s fault. If it weren´t for him, I wouldn´t have had any of these experiences. Imagine being chased by a group of rowdees! Terrifying. I´d like to see Sravan try it.

It felt so so so so so good to tell him straight in the face yesterday, ¨Guess what Sravan. I´m a hero. Unlike you. And I didn´t have to smoke a cigarette to become one.¨

I´ve stopped talking to him. I have other friends. But at the same time, if it weren´t for him, none of this would ever have happened, and I wouldn´t be a hero right now.

Rajamuthu Uncle is enjoying in America. He said that when he comes back he´ll take me to Japan! How cool is that?

Madhavan Uncle (everyone seems to reffer to him as Sage Citrus) is back in P2V. He says he´ll stay in Chennai for one more week and then fly to New York. He told me that he´s working on his autobiography. Haha. I like Madhavan Uncle. Ratnaraj Uncle is also back in P2V.

Sakthivel Uncle is heading Saroja Investigating Agency again. He keeps saying he misses Rajamuthu Uncle. So do I.

Now I´m afraid I must go do my Tamil homework. Hmmm. What a pity; I might be a hero, but I still have to do homework. Well, as Madhavan Uncle says, that´s life...

***

EXCERPT FROM RAJAMUTHU´S DIARY.

Texas is one hell of a place. I love it here. I´m a bit busy now, there isn´t much time to write anything. When I say busy I mean busy enjoying. Hehehe.

The Night of Chaos was, of course, a catstrophe. It seems almost three thousand people died. Damn that ´Kokki´ Kumar. Does he realize what he has done? So many children he have been made orphans, so many families have been torn apart...

Anyway, the videos Sakthivel sent his friend as an email were forwarded everywhere in no time. It ultimately reached the Mayor. He sent the videos to experts in London to check their authenticity. Of course, the experts confirmed the aunthenticity. Me, Sakthivel, Ratnaraj, Sage Citrus and Karthik became heroes. We were all given large sums of money and medals by Kalaignar Karunanidhi himself. Karthik is thrilled with being a hero. So are his parents. I have promised to take Karthik to Japan once I return to Chennai. I don´t think his parents will approve of my idea, though. Sage Citrus said that the autobiography is coming along quite well and will be released in two months.

Though I´m having a great time here, I confess that I miss all the action. I want another huge conspiracy like thing to come along again, so that the five of us can reunite and do what we do best.

Such a situation came, barely a year later.

Path to Victory : Part Four

2009-03-07T00:36:00.000-08:00

[WARNING - DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN´T READ P2V PART 1, 2 AND 3]

The world famous mystic Sage Citrus did not come to Chennai with his ´assistant´ Kumar and get killed by him. He hadn´t left New York at that time. On the night before his departure, Madhavan, alias Sage Citrus had a dream. A dream that took him to the near future. He saw the Night of Chaos in Chennai. He saw who was behind it all.

20/03/10, 12:07 a.m.
SAGE CITRUS´S RESIDENCE, NEW YORK

Sage Citrus awoke with a start. He couldn´t believe what he had seen in his terrible dream. He knew the future couldn´t be changed, but he hadn´t seen the whole thing. Whether Kumar would ever be stopped still remained to be seen. He tried to get some sleep and focused on his thoughts. Another dream came to him soon.

A small boy named Karthik... running away to smoke a cigarette... hearing the rowdees converse... terrified... Karthik spotted... Tries to escape... Detective named Rajamuthu given mission by his boss... follows Kumar... talks to a Ghost named Ratnaraj...attacked by thugs... also being chased by rowdees ... meets Karthik... both go together...meet Ratnaraj in a mall... takes them to his house... Sage Citrus meets Karthik, Rajamuthu, Ratnaraj...with the help of his new friends tries to stop Kumar...

For the second time, the Sage Citrus woke up, drenched in sweat. So, that was how it was. He would try to save Chennai from the clutches of the diabolical Kumar, but he didn´t know if he would succeed. He knew instantly what he must do. Kumar was as cunning as a snake. He would soon realize that he (Sage Citrus) would have had a dream by now. He would attempt to murder him, so he must duplicate his body. He must go to Chennai later, disguised, and meet Ratnaraj, Rajamuthu and Karthik. With their help, he would try and best ´Kokki´ Kumar. If managed to do so, it would be an unprecedented act.

He tried to get back to sleep again and waited for a third dream that would tell him if he would succeed or fail. But no such dream came. So the philosopher from Kerala decided to get to work. With his amazing Psychic powers, he duplicated his body. The new body had all the memories of the Sage, but yet, he was not the same. He knew what he had to do. He knew what Kumar was planning, and he knew that he was going to die.

The duplicate/Sage Citrus went to bed. The real Citrus tiptoed to the garage, and got into his Merc. He had some trustworthy contacts in New York, and he had to get to them soon...

All this Sage Citrus recounted Rajamuthu, the Ghost Ratnaraj and Karthik, a boy from the slums.

25/03/10, 12:51 p.m.
RATNARAJ´S RESIDENCE, MYLAPORE, CHENNAI

¨Now all this is beginning to make sense,¨ said Rajamuthu. ¨It´s a wild story, it seems absurd... and yet... in some way or the other, it makes sense.¨
¨Please, continue,¨ said Ratnaraj to Sage Citrus.
¨Yes,¨ Sage Citrus continued. ¨I reached the house of a friend. I told him everything, I had to. And then I began to find out all I could about Kumar (whose nickname, which I later realized is ´Kokki´ Kumar). The Net was my main source of information. I found out that he is, in fact, a mafia king, an underworld don and a billionaire. He borrowed money from all the famous moneylenders in all parts of the world. Half the police in Tamil Nadu are under his control. Most of the government is his. He has a great influence over all the ministers in South India. He has communicated with all the rowdees of Tamil Nadu and they have offered him their help with the attack for a large fee. With such influence he probably had no problem finding out who you are, Rajamuthu, and sending his men after you,¨ Sage Citrus pointed out.
¨But surely all that wasn´t available on the Net?¨ asked Rajamuthu.
¨No,¨ said Sage Citrus. ¨The Internet wasn´t my only source. I have other methods.¨
¨I see...¨
¨And I´ll grant you this much, all of my methods were not legal,¨ Sage Citrus added with a twinkle in his eyes. ¨After getting all the required information, I came to Chennai disguised as Mr. Jack Slater, a tall fair-skinned man. My friend arranged for his assistants to pick me up. En route to the hotel I was supposed to stay in, I met you, Ratnaraj, going to work. I showed you who I really am, and well, you know the rest.¨
Rajamuthtu smirked. ¨You took the Jack Slater part of it from a Schwarzenegger movie.¨
¨Correct.¨
¨So what do we do now? How do we stop Kumar?¨ asked Ratnaraj.
¨Here´s my plan,¨ said Sage Citrus. ¨You, Karthik and Kumar - ¨
¨The boy stays out of this,¨ said Rajamuthu. ¨He´s gone through too much already. The only thing we have to do now is return him to his parents who are probably searching for him this minute.¨
¨I agree with you, Rajamuthu,¨ said Sage Citrus. ¨But Karthik plays a crucial part in the plan.¨
Rajamuthu stood up.
¨He can´t have any more to do with danger.¨
¨Rajamuthu, please listen. We need him if Kumar has to be stopped. I´ll make sure that he does not come in harm´s way.¨
¨Can you promise me that Karthik will come out of this ordeal unscathed?¨ asked Rajamuthu his piercing black eyes looking straight at Sage Citrus.
The sage looked uneasy. He hesitated for a while. And then, he said slowly, ¨Yes. I give you my word. I shall guard the boy with my life.¨
Rajamuthu now directly addressed Karthik.
¨Karthik, are you willing to help us bring down ´Kokki Kumar?¨
¨Yes,¨ said Karthik confidently.
¨So that´s that,¨ said Sage Citrus, his face brightening. ¨Now we will have to inform his parents that he is safe.¨
He picked up his iPhone from the table.

25/03/10, 12:51 p.m.
SANTHI MECHANICALS, MYLAPORE, CHENNAI.

The phone rang loudly. The unhappy and dejected Beeman picked up the phone.
¨Hello.¨
¨Hello, Mr. Beeman. I´m calling to inform you that your son is safe and is with us. He will be with you in four days time,¨ said a smooth deep voice. A wonderful, reassuring voice.
Beeman´s eyes slid slightly out of focus after he heard the voice. He seemed dazed.
¨Karthik is with you?¨ he asked. ¨He is safe? Unharmed?¨
¨Yes.¨
¨I will see him in four days time? You promise?¨
¨Yes.¨
¨Who are you?¨
¨Your friend and well wisher.¨
With that the mysterious caller hung up.
Beeman turned around. He seemed to be deep in thought.
¨Who was it?¨ asked his wife Lakshmi anxiously. ¨What did they say about Karthik?¨
¨Karthik is safe,¨ said Beeman.
As soon as they made eye contact, Lakshmi´s eyes also slid out of focus.
¨Thank the Gods,¨ she whispered.

25/03/10, 12:52 p.m.
RATNARAJ´S RESIDENCE, MYLAPORE, CHENNAI

¨How did you convince them?¨ asked Rajamuthu.
¨Psychism is an amazing thing,¨ Sage Citrus said. ¨I used my psychic powers to hypnotize his Karthik´s father. His mother will get hypnotized too, as soon as the father and the mother make eye contact.¨
¨Hypnotize?¨ asked Karthik worriedly.
Sage Citrus chuckled.
¨Don´t worry, Karthik,¨ he said reassuringly. ¨Nothing will happen to them. You don´t have to call it hypnotism, you know. Well, let´s say... they´re just confident that you will be with them in four days. They will cease to worry about you and go on with their work.¨
¨Oh... Okay.¨
¨Now, here´s my plan,¨ began Sage Citrus. In the next few minutes he proposed what he considered a judicious plan. But the others did not seem to share his view.
¨It´s a good plan, definitely,¨ said Rajamuthu with a frown. ¨But I don´t know how far it is feasible.¨
¨Too much of risk,¨ Ratnaraj piped up.
¨I know, but right now it´s the best plan we have, isn´t it?¨ asked Sage Citrus, a bit disappointed with their responses.
The detective and the Ghost thought about it.
¨Hmm... Okay, I guess we can go ahead with this plan,¨ said Rajamuthu.
¨Yeah. Since we´ve got no other choice.¨

The next few days Karthik spent in Ratnaraj´s house were one of the happiest in his life. The hospitality shown to him by Ratnaraj´s wife, Susheela made the house a very congenial place to be in. The housewife treated him like her own son, a son she didn´t have as yet.
Karthik enjoyed his stay in Ratnaraj´s house. He shuddered as he thought of the tortuous path that lay ahead, full of danger and uncertainties...

28/03/10, 8:06 p.m.
PATH TO VICTORY LTD., NUNGAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI

¨Look behind you, chap,¨ said Sage Citrus. Instinctively, ´Kokki´ Kumar turned around. Of course, no one had been there. By the time Kumar realized that he had been tricked, a blow from Sage Citrus sent him spinning.
¨What the...!¨ Kumar shouted as he scrambled up to his feet. ¨Why aren´t you shooting him!?¨ Kumar addressed his henchmen who were dressed in black.
¨Kumar, meet my friends Rajamuthu and Ratnaraj,¨ sage Sage Citrus.
The detective and ex-detective pulled the masks off their faces.
¨How... how...¨ spluttered Kumar.
¨It´s over, Kumar. It´s high time you accepted that. This is your last chance to capitulate to us.¨
¨It´s not over yet!¨ Kumar growled.
He pressed what looked like a rusted iron nail on the wall. Loud squeaking sounds went up in the air.
Sage Citrus froze.
An alarm.

Seven rowdees reached the scene of the battle before any of the unwelcome guests could react.The sage scowled.
¨Things aren´t going as well as I planned,¨ muttered Sage Citrus before he was engaged in a fight with Kumar´s men. As the fight raged on, Kumar quietly slipped away. Sage Citrus, determined not to let the Wolf of Chennai escape, pursued him. He chased Kumar into his office. Kumar was cornered.
Sage Citrus sighed.
¨Will you give up at least now?¨
¨Never,¨ said Kumar.
He pulled out a gun that had been concealed under his coat until then. He had slipped it into his coat just before going to face Sage Citrus. He pointed the gun at the sage.
¨The enigma that is Sage Citrus,¨ said Kumar mockingly. ¨Here you shall die. And what a pity; all your mysteries shall die with you and remain unsolved forever.¨
Sage Citrus maintained his stoic calm.
¨How poetic,¨ observed Sage Citrus, barely suppressing a grin.
¨Any last wishes?¨ Kumar asked, his eyes gleaming maniacally. ¨Oh, forget it. I don´t have the patience.¨
´Kokki´ Kumar pulled the trigger.

Rajamuthu and Ratnaaj fired many times. Six of the rowdees were felled. One began to escape. Ratnaraj began to chase him.
¨Leave him!¨ Rajamuthu called.
¨I can´t let him spread the word to his friends!¨ shouted Rajamuthu as he ran down the stairs.

Behind him, the detective heard a door open and the soft sound of footsteps.
¨So you´re the famous detective?¨ came a sinister voice.
Rajamuthu turned around slowly. Before him stood the gorilla like Vijayan. Rajamuthu´s eyes fell upon the long, not-very-friendly looking sword he held in his hand. The rowdy had woken up after being made unconcious by Sage Citrus. Vijayan followed Rajamuthu´s gaze.
¨Like it?¨ he asked, twirling his sword. ¨I used to wield a heavy wooden club, but it was too cumbersome, so I exchanged it for this.
Rajamuthu turned around and began to run. It was not a very courageous thing to do, but facing Vijayan almost certainly meant death, and that would mean jeopardizing the operation, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

´Kokki´ Kumar pulled the trigger. A small jet of water that came from the gun fell at the sage´s feet. Kumar stood there, stunned.
¨You asked me if I had any last wishes,¨ said Sage Citrus. ¨I do have one, actually. I wish to ask you a question. Why, pray, are you playing with a water pistol?¨
Kumar let out a curse in Tamil before jumping on a cracked tile. Another false wall slide open. Kumar leaped forward, and began to run. The wall closed behind him.
Sage Citrus sighed.
This place has more false walls and secret passages than a haunted house in a Scooby Doo cartoon, he thought. How tiresome.

Kumar reached the old meditating room. He wasn´t going to stop there. He put his hand into the crack of the wall. A whole section of the floor under him gave away. Kumar smiled as he dropped down. By the time Sage Citrus found out where he was this time, he would be far away. Or so he presumed.

28/03/10, 8:02p.m.
PATH TO VICTORY LTD., NUNGAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI

Karthik knew that Sage Citrus was about to fight the security guards. Ratnaraj and Rajmuthu would attack Kumar´s henchmen positioned behind the false walls. It was time for his part of the job. He managed to enter the premises of the P2V company unnoticed, but now came the tricky part. Karthik walked slowly, sondlessly, until he spotted the lizard on the wall. He pressed the lizard´s tail, and a false wall openned, revealing a secret passage before him. Similar to what Sage Citrus would say a minute or so later, the building was straight out of a Scooby Doo cartoon. Karthik walked through the passage and entered Kumar´s private office. So far, so good. Now he´d better hurry up.
Search for a gun, thought Karthik desperately. Come on, there´s got to be a gun in here somewhere... There it was, in the bottom most shelf of the cupboard. He removed the gun from there. He took out a cheap water pistol they had bought earlier from his pocket and planted it there.

A job well done. The experienced prankster silently left the room.

A minute later, ´Kokki´ Kumar would enter the room and pick up a water pistol instead of his revolver before facing Sage Citrus.

Rajamuthu ran frantically as the corpulent Vijayan chased him. The unfortunate detective tripped over the
body of a guard and fell down heavily on his stomach. Vijayan pounced on him. Rajamuthu rolled away and scrambled to his feet. Vijayan charged once more, and this time, Rajamuthu was too slow to evade the attack completely.
Slashed badly. Blood poured out uncontrollably from Rajamuthu´s chest. Rajamuthu tried to fight his assilant, but his attacks were innocuous and the enormous individual took no notice of them. Rajamuthu dropped to his knees in agony, clutching the wound. He couldn´t do anything. Enervated by the loss of blood, he was almost unconcious. Everything was going out of focus...
Another second and Vijayan would have ended it all... But the bricks on the ceiling seemed to move apart and something heavy landed on him. Vijayan collapsed, unconcious. Kumar got up from the rowdy´s back and rubbed his head.
¨Ouch.¨
And then he saw Rajamuthu.
¨Aha!¨ he shouted dramatically. ¨Farewell, Mister Detective!¨
Kumar was about to move forward to choke the detective, but someone landed on him. Sage Citrus. This is unfathomable! Kumar thought. How did the sage know where to find me this time?

The answer to the strange puzzle hit him like a ten- tonne truck. It all made sense.

¨Of course, Sunder would have done something. How stupid of me not to realize earlier,¨ he muttered. ¨There´s someone else here...Someone watching everything from the shadows...¨
And then everything blacked out.

28/03/10, 8:00 p.m.
EDEN, PATH TO VICTORY LTD., NUNGAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI

Eden was a large garden in P2V Nungambakkam. It had several exotic artificial and natural plants and trees. The beautiful garden had a small pond in the centre. Just a little beyond a pond, there was a small cabin, well concealed by the foliage and canopy of the surrounding vegetation. The cabin was completely air conditioned. Inside it there wasn´t much furniture. Just a table, a chair and a fridge. A latest model Mac laptop sat on the table. Sunder, Kumar´s second-in-command usually occupied the cabin. But on that day someone else was inside.

The whole of the P2V building was bugged. Full of hidden spy cameras. Everything that was happening inside the building was being recorded and could be seen in the laptop in the cabin. A cool security system. But Sage Citrus turned what would have been a curse into an advantage.

Sakthivel sat in the cabin, looking carefully at the laptop, sipping his mug of hot chocolate. A day ago, Rajamuthu, Ratnaraj and Sage Citrus had approached him for help. They told him what he had to do in order to help them. A few mintes ago, he had broken into the compound, entered the cabin, overpowered Sunder, tied him up, gagged him and taken his place in front of the laptop.

Sakthivel made a call to Karthik from the laptop. The four of them had been were equipped with old model Nokia cell pones.
¨Hello,¨ came Kathik´s voice. His voice was shaky. Only natural, under the circumstances.
¨All clear, kid,¨ said Sakthivel in Tamil. ¨Kumar is in the balcony. The guards are preoccupied; they´re debating on what to eat for tomorrow´s breakfast, idli or dosai.¨
¨Really?¨ asked Karthik.
¨No,¨ came the reply. ¨Just kidding. They´re talking about what to do after this Night of Chaos. But hey, they´re still preoccupied. Haha.¨
¨Okay,¨ said Karthik. ¨I´m going in.¨

¨Good thing Sage Citrus watched Home Alone 3 recently,¨ Sakthivel commented as he saw Karthik plant the water pistol in the shelf.

A minute or two later he made a call to Rajamuthu and then to Ratnaraj, signalling them to attack Kumar´s men hiding behind the false walls.
¨You can get them, Rajamuthu,¨ he said. ¨Finish them off, the Men in Black.¨
Never liked that movie, Sakthivel thought after Rajamuthu terminated the call.

The next call was to Sage Citrus.
¨Is it the right time to attack?¨ the sage asked
¨Three words, thalaiva,¨ said Sakthivel. ¨Go – for – it.¨

Sakthivel laughed until his sides ached when he saw Kumar´s face after he found out that it was a water pistol he had been holding.
¨Haha in your face, gangsta!¨ he shouted.
Boy, I love this job, Sakthivel thought. After this whole thinge is over and done with, I´m going to quit my job and start working here.
Then he frowned. If I´m alive when this is over and done with. I could be on the losing side, you never know.

Things got serious when Sakthivel saw Rajamuthu get attacked by Vijayan. He had to inform Sage Citrus immediately.

¨Good thing I got the First Aid stuff,¨ said Sage Citrus as he treated Rajamuthu. ¨Damn, you´ve lost so much blood.¨
It was at this momment that Ratnaraj entered the scene.
¨Had to chase one of them,¨ he panted. ¨Got into some trouble with some more guards. What happened to Rajamuthu?¨ he asked, worried.
¨He was attacked.¨

Kumar could hear some voices.
¨What happened to Rajamuthu?¨
¨He was attacked.¨

Where am I? He thought.
Ah, yes. I´m in P2V. I am leading an army of insurgents to victory, but some meddling fools are impeding the process. The fools have forgotten to tie me up since they´re busy nursing the detective. Finally, some good luck.
And then, time to use the old trick.

When the two of them least expected an attack, Kumar struck with the speed and ferocity of a coiled viper. He knocked Ratnaraj sensless, but Citrus didn´t go down so easily.
¨Sorry, my friend,¨ said the devious Kumar. ¨Any other day I would have stood my ground and fought you, but right now I have a city to plunge into anarchy. So sayonara. For now.¨
He touched a small painting on the wall, and well, you know what happened. Another secret chamber opened up.
¨Oh no!¨ Sage Citrus almost wailed. ¨Not another false wall!¨
¨Don´t worry thala,¨ came a voice from behind Kumar. ¨I´ve got it all covered.¨
Sakthivel held Kumar in a pincer grip.
¨Sakthivel! What are you doing here! You´re supposed to be in the cabin, watching our backs!´ Sage Citrus reproached.
¨I was getting a little stiff. Itching for some action. So I got little Kumar to take my position in the cozy little room,¨ said Sakthivel with a broad grin.
¨Thank goodness,¨ said the sage, looking relieved.
¨Oh, and one more thing,¨ said Sakthivel. ¨I discovered that there´s a clever programme in the laptop. Using that programme, Kumar makes his man in the cabin send messgaes to all the rowdees who are involved in the fighting. The cell numbers of all those guys are stored in the laptop. I sent all of them a little order...¨

28/03/10, 8:07
CHENNAI

All the rowdees were suddenly getting messages on their cell phones.

ATTENTION!

...It read...

... STOP D FITIN! V R HELPLESS! NSG CMMANDOS R HERE. A SQUAD BROKE IN2 MY OFFCE AND HVE CAPTURED ME. THS CANT GO ON. STOP D FITIN AND FLEE!!!

As an added blessing, the sky was suddenly full of army helicopters. The army had actually arrived. What stroke of luck.

28/03/10, 8:08 p.m.
PATH TO VICTORY LTD., NUNGAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI

¨NO!¨ Kumar roared when he heard what Sakthivel had announced. ¨Curse yoouuu!! You have taken everything away from me! I will not spare you!¨
With the strength of a madman he managed to pull himself out of Sakthivel´s grip. A powerful punch on the stomach and Sakthivel doubled up in pain. He just about pushed Sage Citrus out of the way. One of his choppers was hovering outside the window.
So someone sensed that I was in danger, thought Kumar gratefully.
The Wolf of Chennai jumped through the window, glass and all, and landed in the chopper which flew away. Out of reach.
¨Darn that @$%&*** Kumar!¨ screamed Sakthivel.
The sage just stood there impassively and smiled.
I´m not done with you yet, Kumar, he thought.

28/03/10, 8:14 p.m.
THE SKIES, ABOVE CHENNAI

¨Where are you taking me?¨ Kumar yelled to the pilot. His voice could hardly be heard over all the noise made by the chopper.
¨See for yourself!¨ the pilot roared back. There was something familiar about his voice...
The chopper dropped low. Very low. Then something strange happened. The pilot jumped out of the chopper. The chopper crashed. Badly.

28/03/10, 8:14:13 p.m.
VALMIKI NAGAR BEACH, THIRUVANMIYUR, CHENNAI

The pilot landed softly on the sandy beach. And guess who the pilot was. Sage Citrus. Another double.

Kumar tumbled down from the wreckage that was once a chopper. He was bleeding quite badly, but it was nothing that serious. Then he spotted Sage Citrus.
¨How... How... are you doing this?¨ he asked the sage.
Nobody outsmarts the Wolf of Chennai! Kumar thought.
Sage Citrus remained silent. He simply advanced towards Kumar.
¨You had the audacity to enter my fortress, fight me and spoil my ingenious schemes!¨ the deranged gangster screamed. ¨I will not condone this!¨
With that he charged. With a relatively simle movement, the sage tripped ´Kokki´ Kumar.
¨Tell me one thing, Kumar,¨ said the sage. ¨Why Chennai? Why not some bigger city like Delhi? Or Mumbai?¨
¨My sister!¨ screamed Kumar. ¨When she was but a child, she was killed here in a mob attack. I wanted to destroy this city, this city without my sister! I had no plans of ruling the city! All I wanted was to destroy it. Completely! And I almost succeeded. If it hadn´t been for you and your-¨
¨That´s enough,¨ said Sage Citrus. He attacked the Wolf. There was no mercy in his eyes, just anger. Fury. He fought mercilessly, attacking the vital points of Kumar´s body. Most unlike the sage who was usually calm and composed. But this clone seemed different. He seemed ... crazy... even homicidal.

Sage Citrus killed Kumar without much effort.

28/03/10, 8:17 p.m.
PATH TO VICTORY LTD., NUNGAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI

¨I can´t believe it!¨ exploded the real Sage Citrus. ¨He killed him! He wasn´t supposed to! Everything´s gone wrong! I built in all these instructions in his brain, but...¨
¨So Kumar is dead?¨ asked Ratnaraj, who ad regained conciousness by now.
¨Yes, but my double wasn´t supposed to kill him!¨ Citrus said. ¨He was supposed to use his powers of levitation to reach the helicopter just outside P2V´s periphery. He was supposed to defeat the pilot and bring Kumar back to us! But he seems to have taken Kumar to a beach of some sort... and killed him.¨
¨And how do you know all this?¨
¨My brain is connected with his through an invissible channel,¨ explained Sage Citrus. ¨All his thoughts reach me throught this passage. But even now, the clone is closing his mind to me...¨
¨He can do that?¨
¨Yes, it´s possible, but it requires a huge amount of concentration and energy...¨
¨So how´s Rajamuthu?¨ Ratnaraj inquired.
¨He´ll live,¨ said Sage Citrus brusquely. ¨He´s on his way to a hospital.¨

The real Citrus had spotted a chopper in the P2V premises. He guessed that Kumar would use the chopper at some point of time to make a getaway. He created another double who was supposed to to take Kumar by surprise in case he tried using the chopper, atack him, overpower the pilot and navigate the chopper back to the P2V building. Instead, he attacked the pilot of the helicopter before he had any intentions of letting Kumar escape, took Kumar to the beach and killed him.

Things had gone wrong in the cloning. Cloning is not an easy thing, even for a Ghost as powerful as Sage Citrus. Things often go wrong. While creating his double, some of the brain cells were rearranged in a different way by mistake. So the new sage did not obey his instructions perfectly.

¨Relax,¨ said Ratnaraj. ¨The double´s probably just confused. Don´t worry, he´ll come back to us in a day or two. I think.¨
¨Yeah, let´s hope so,¨ came the sage´s reply. He didn´t sound too sure about that. ¨I just didn´t want Kumar to die...he was supposed to be handed over to the police.¨
¨Things could have got worse, you know,¨ said Ratnaraj. ¨At least we didn´t get lost in a labyrinth of secret passages. And none of us died.¨
¨I know, but still...¨
¨Hey, take a break. Think of all the thing´s we´ve done. All the lives we´ve saved. You can finally rest, can´t you?¨
¨Not really,¨ chuckled the sage.
¨Why?¨ asked Ratnaraj, surprised. ¨What more should be done?¨
¨I have to work on that autobiography, remember?¨

28/03/10, 8:18 p.m.
EDEN, PATH TO VICTORY LTD., NUNGAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI

Sakthivel was back in the cabin working on the laptop. Kumar stood by his side.
¨What´re you doing?¨ asked Karthik.
¨Watch,¨ said Sakthivel.
He clciked on the My Computer icon.
Path to Victory Chennai. Spy Cameras Section. 28th December 2009.
The senior detective smiled.
¨Someone would like to watch some videos.¨

28/03/10, 8:19 p.m.
VALMIKI NAGAR BEACH, THIRUVANMIYUR, CHENNAI

The cloned Sage Citrus walked slowly along the shore. He had finally closed his mind to the fool who was his creator. The clone was a completely different person. And not in a good way. New thoughts began to take shape in his head.
Yes. Something about world domination.

THE END

Path to Victory : Part Three

2009-03-06T06:01:00.000-08:00

[WARNING- DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN´T READ P2V PART 1 AND 2]

25/03/09, 9:40 a.m.

MYLAPORE, CHENNAI

Kathik looked at Rajamuthu. There was awe and respect etched in every line of his face. He watched on as the detective continued driving the car with a determined expression. They had quite a lead over the rowdees now.

¨What´ll we do?¨ asked Karthik worriedly.

Rajamuthu said nothing. A second later he swore loudly.

¨Now what?!¨ inquired Karthik.

¨Almost out of petrol!¨

Rajamuthu gritted his teeth.

¨Oh god...¨

¨We can do a few more kilometers...¨

In almost five minutes they reached a police station.

¨Finally!¨ exclaimed Rajamuthu. ¨We´re safe now. ¨

But he was wrong.

The police station was deserted. Not a single police man, or criminal was to be seen.

¨I can´t believe this-¨ Rajamuthu began, but Karthik cut him off.

¨If we don´t get out of here quickly, we might never escape from the rowdees.¨

The duo rushed back to the car and Rajamuthu resumed the driving, muttering under his breath.

¨How can a police station be empty? Just empty? What´s going on here...¨

An auto came at top speed in the opposite direction. Rajamuthu could do nothing but scream, but a skillful last minute maneuver by the auto driver saved them.

¨Whew! That was a close one!¨ Karthik said, glad to be alive.

¨Yeah...¨ agreed Rajamuthu. Then his face brightened. ¨Wait a second! Why not leave the car here and take the auto?¨

¨Wow! Amazing idea! No wonder you became a detective!¨

The detective and the slum boy ran up to the auto. Rajamuthu spoke to the driver.

¨Look, we need the auto-¨

¨Can´t you watch where you´re going? What´s wrong with you? Are you mad? Are you blind?!¨ the auto driver was extremely irritated due to obvious reasons.

¨I´m sorry,¨ said Rajamuthu hurriedly. ¨And I´ll apologise to you in detail a little later. But now I´m in a tight spot and I need you to take me somewhere.¨

The driver thought about it.

¨Okay. Get in. But I´ll charge you extra as a compensation for all you´ve done.¨

¨Thanks a billion!¨ shouted Rajamuthu as he got into the auto. He was followed by Karthik.

¨Now step on it!¨

¨Right. Which way?¨

¨Oh, just turn right here...¨ Rajamuthu said absent mindedly.

The auto took a sharp right turn and sped down the road.

25/03/09, 10:01 a.m.

CHENNAI CITI CENTRE.

Karthik and Rajamuthu walked slowly in the large mall. So how did they end up in Citi Centre? Well, it happened like this. While in the auto, a sudden memory flashed through Rajamuthu´s mind. It was a memory of a conversation that took place almost five months ago between him and his boss, Mr. Sakthivel. It was the time when Ratnaraj was still working in Saroja Investigating Agency. Sakthivel had been praising Ratnaraj about his efficient methods of solving cases, his short, succinct reports and his polite manner. He happened to mention that Sakthivel visited the Subway restaurant in Citi Centre almost every day at twelve ´o´ clock for lunch. He also relaxed in the mall for a while before going back to work. Rajamuthu prayed that Ratnaraj still had this habit.

A while ago, the auto had stopped at an STD booth. Rajamuthu dialed 100, but no one picked up! There was something very very strange going on. Definitely. Karthik also dialed his home, but again, no one picked up. His parents were probably worried sick and were out searching for him. Karthik felt terrible. If only he hadn´t listened to Sravan. If only he had listened to his father. If only he had the common sense not to touch a cigarette...

They also saw suspicious characters all around and decided to enter the mall. Both of them didn´t know whether those people were in fact suspicious, or if they were just too freaked out and were imagining things.

Karthik and Rajamuthu entered Subway. A good deal of people were looking at Karthik. He was wearing his not-very-tidy clothes. He looked like a typical boy from the slums, and people from the slums did not often visit Citi Centre.

¨Why is every one looking at me?¨ Karthik asked, bewildered.

¨I don´t know,¨ Rajamuthu lied. ¨Just ignore them.¨

Rajamuthu bought Kathik a sub which he ate with gusto. He was so ravenous that he couldn´t help asking for one more. Rajamuthu smiled and bought him another vegetarian sub. Karthik had never eaten such a large meal in his life before. Rajamuthu himself was too nervous to eat. He spent time talking to Karthik. Karthik told him about how he got involved in all this ; how Sravan persuaded him talking about Rajini ; how he ran away into a house to smoke the cigarette ; how he heard the rowdess ; how they spotted him, how he escaped... He told him everything in detail. Rajamuthu on his part advised Karthik about peer preasure and the bad influence of movies and actors.

Karthik was quite a loquacious boy and had taken such a liking to this warm, kind hearted stranger and began telling him of his personal life. He told him about how he played cricket with his pals on the road, how he often had fights with lots of children... He told him his likes and dislikes, what his parents were like, what his favourite movie was...

In this way, the two talked for a while.

Rajamuthu checked his watch. Exactly twelve. A tall young individual stepped into the restaurant. The detective´s face lit up as he recognized his former colleague.

¨Ratnaraj!¨

¨Rajamuthu!¨

The Ghost ran up to Mr. Rajamuthu.

¨What are you doing here? What happened? Why did you stop picking up your cell phone? What was all the commotion about? I called several times but you didn´t answer...¨ Ratnaraj´s voice trailed away.

¨And who is this?¨ he added, looking at Karthik.

The detective took a deep breath and told him everything that had happened.

¨So you´re on this clandestine mission, searching for Kumar...¨ Ratnaraj said. ¨I see... that´s interesting.¨

¨Yes... How can you help me? Please, tell me all you know.¨

Ratnaraj smiled.

¨Come with me,¨ he said. ¨Boy, have I got a surprise for you...¨

25/03/10, 12:41 p.m.

MYLAPORE, CHENNAI

They reached Mr. Ratnaraj´s house. It was located in a cozy corner of Mylapore. Ratnaraj rang the doorbell with a broad grin. The door was opened by a man with a small beard who was dressed in bright red robes. Sage Citrus.

25/03/10, 12:39 p.m.

PATH TO VICTORY LTD., NUNGAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI

Kumar was not in a very good mood. He addressed the large crowd of rowdees he had sent to kill Rajamuthu.

¨So he escaped. Great. How can I possible thank you?¨ His soft dangerous voice sent shivers running down everyone´s spines.

¨I´m sorry sir, it was just a mistake. He just manged to slip through our fingers in the last minute...¨ one of the goons tried to explain.

¨Do you know what a precarious position I´m in?¨ Kumar asked the rowdy. ¨I have borrowed huge sums of cash from the world´s largest billionaires and moneylenders, I have bribed thousands of policemen and politicians, I have promised several people several things... Everything depends on that night. That night when we take over Chennai. The Night of Chaos. And that is in your hands. If we fail to take over Chennai, then that is the end of ´Kokki´ Kumar. Therefore, I say this one last time, loud and clear to all of you, I cannot tolerate mistakes!¨

The two rowdess who tried unsuccessfully to catch Karthik shuffled their feet uncomfortably.

Let´s just hope he doesn´t find out, one of them thought. ´Cause if he does, we´re in deep trouble.

25/03/10, 12:41 p.m.

MYLAPORE, CHENNAI.

Rajamuthu couldn´t believe what he was seeing.

¨What the...¨ he said, shell shocked. ¨You! You´re supposed to be dead!¨ he blurted out.

Both the sage and Ratnaraj burst out laughing.

¨Ratnaraj told me that Kumar killed you!¨

¨Yes,¨ said Sage Citrus. ¨He killed me, but unfortunately – unfortunately for him, fortunately for you, that happened to be my double.¨

¨Double?¨ asked Rajamuthu incredulously.

¨Mr. Rajamuthu,¨ said Sage Citrus slowly. ¨Yes, I know your name,¨ he added having seen Rajamuthu´s look of disbelief. ¨I have a lot to tell you. So if you´d sit down and accept the hospitality that Ratnaraj and Susheela [Ratnraj´s wie] provide you, then I shall make everything clear for you. We don´t have much time to stop this Kumar.¨

Kumar slowly sat down on the sofa. Karthik still stood at the door.

¨Oh, hello, Karthik!¨ Sage Citrus said cheerfully in Tamil. ¨Why don´t you sit down? Oh, by the way, in case you don´t know, I´m Madhavan.¨

¨Madhavan?¨ asked Ratnaraj. ¨Where did that come from!?¨

¨Oh that´s my real name,¨ said Sage Citrus matter-of-factly. ¨I was born to a Nair family in a small village in North Kerala.¨

This was just too much for Ratnaraj and Rajamuthu to absorb.

¨Kerala! So how-¨ Ratnaraj began, but Sage Citrus said firmly, ¨I can tell you more about myself later. If you want, I can even write an autobiography. But all that can be done only after we save Chennai from ´Kokki´ Kumar.¨

¨Sit down, Karthik,¨ he added.

Karthik obeyed.

¨Now before I begin,¨ said Sage Citrus. ¨Let me tell you a bit about Kumar and his plans and what I´ve been doing for all this time...¨

Fast forward three days.

28/03/10, 7:30 p.m

CHENNAI

THE NIGHT OF CHAOS.

Chaos indeed. Chaos and mayhem ruled the city of Chennai. Criminals and gangsters wrought havoc on the streets, attacking civilians, policemen, anyone they could find... The cops didn´t stand a chance. Every street, by lane and alleyway was full of ´Kokki´ Kumar´s henchmen. There were the local rowdees armed with sickles and clubs, and also the more sophisticated killers armed with guns and grenades. Terrified civilians locked themselves in their houses, but the deranged rowdees broke the windows tried to break open the doors... The more unfortunate people on the streets were larger in number and many were slaughtered mercilessly. Terror everywhere.

The officials were doing their best to prevent the onslaught of the criminals, but their best just wasn´t enough. They tried frantically to get troops from neighbouring cities and states, but all phone lines were jammed. No connection in the cell phones. The Internet was not functioning. It seemed like the Firesale in the movie Die Hard 4.0 .

It was eight ´o´ clock by the time the news reached the rest of India and then the rest of the world. Somehow, the message spread. NSG commandos and special troops from the army were being sent to Chennai.

Eight p.m. Hundreds and hundreds of helicopters swarmed over Chennai like wasps. They dropped dangerously low, and snipers from inside the choppers fired at the cops. The rowdees imported by Kumar from all over Tamil Nadu had reached Chennai. Now they began their fierce attack, the police men were largely outnumbered and all hell broke loose. The citizens of Chennai began to loose hope.

28/03/10, 8:03 p.m.

PATH TO VICTORY LTD., NUNGAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI

Kumar watched with a smile as he saw the violence in the streets from his high balcony. He savoured the cool breeze as it brushed across his face.

Just like Mumbai´s 26/11, he thought. But amplified a hundred times. This is not mere terrorism. This is war. That´s right. Kill until the last breath. And then, the world will remember this day.

It did, for many years to come.

28/03/10, 8:05 p.m.

MAYOR´S RESIDENCE, CHENNAI

A large crowd of thugs entered the bungalow. The security guards were incapacitated in no time. They entered the mayor´s house.

A long knife was held close to the mayor´s soft neck. He felt the cold steel touch his bare flesh.

¨Try any tricks and it´ll be the last thing you ever do,¨ the thug growled.

The terrified mayor whimpered.

28/03/10, 8:04 p.m.

PATH TO VICTORY LTD., NUNGAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI

Kumar´s Blackberry chirped.

¨Yes, what news?¨ he spoke into the phone.

¨We´ve taken the mayor hostage.¨

¨Excellent.¨

He hung up and allowed himself a smile. Then he frowned. There was some commotion downstairs. Some fighting going on. He heard loud voices. Someone screamed and fell down with a mighty crash. He recognized the voice as Vijayan´s.

So someone had broke into his office and was threatening his security. No, it couldn´t be the police. They couldn´t have possibly gotten past the guards. There were bigger fish at work here. Kumar smiled craftily.

Nothing like a good challenge.

HALF A MINUTE LATER

Kumar faced Sage Citrus on one of the corridors.

¨You! You´re supposed to be dead!¨ he blurted out. Exactly what Rajamuthu had said when he saw Sage Citrus in Ratnaraj´s house.

¨Apparently I´m not,¨ said Sage Citrus, his voice devoid of expression. ¨It´s all over Kumar. You might as well surrender. If not, I´ll be forced to attack. And I shall defeat you, right here, right now.¨

Kumar burst out laughing.

¨You are alone and unaided. You may be strong, but I´m stronger. And I´m sorry, Citrus, but you have no chance of beating me on my own turf.¨ Kumar clapped his hands. The two false walls on both sides slid open. Two men dressed in black from head to toe stepped forward from the shadows and pointed their guns at Sage Citrus.

Kumar laughed once more.

¨And in case you´re trying to use psychic powers to take me or my men down, I would advice you to abandon the idea. Psychism does not work here. I made sure of that five days ago, when you were deep in meditation.¨

¨Damn,¨ swore Sage Citrus.

¨Now, before my men kill you, you´re going to tell me how you managed this miracle,¨ ordered Kumar.

¨I don´t think so,¨ said Sage Citrus calmly. Then he smiled.

¨Look behind you, chap.¨

To be continued...

Delay

2009-03-05T05:11:00.000-08:00

Thursday, 5th March, 2009
6:44 p.m.

Sincere apologies for my delay in posting. My internet was not working. Anyway, P2V part 3 and 4 will be out soon, followed by an epilogue. I´ve finished writing, just have to make a few corrections.

And......
We got our jerseys! They´re awesome!

Half the court, half the time

2009-02-19T03:50:00.000-08:00

February Nineteenth – One of the most fun filled days in my life. Seriously. Why? It´s because of the football match in Nehru Stadium. But the best part wasn´t the match.

We attended only the first period of school today. Actually, we were supposed to attend the first two periods, but we told the teacher that we had to practice for the match and played in the second period. The fourteen of us left school by van, accompanied by our PT teacher. Nothing that interesting happened in the van ride, the same thing, listening to songs, cracking jokes etc...

And then we reached the great Nehru Stadium. We played a seven on seven match in half the ground. We played for 45 minutes, that is, half the time of a real football match (so now you know how the title came about). Lots of people didn´t get to play. I played both halves. The match was okay...but yes, we lost. That doesn´t matter, it was 0-0 at the end of the second half and the opposite team, PSBB, KK Nagar won in penalty shootouts. We played quite well, but I think we could have played better. There are reasons why we lost. But I shouldn´t make derogatory remarks about my school or team.

That was just the beginning of the amazing day. The real fun began after the match. We explored the whole of Nehru stadium several times, jumping on the seats, running up to the terrace, screaming at the top of our voice... Oh, the things we did. We should have been sent to jail. You can get some idea of it by looking at the photos and videos that will shortly be posted on Facebook by my friends. We were spotted in three different places by three different officials as we went on with our exploring. They all shouted at us and one of them even threatened to come after us. We ran for our lives.

The whole place was scattered with beer bottles. Well actually, I´m not sure if it was beer, it could have been anything else. I´m not an expert when it comes to alcoholic drinks. At one point of time, we saw a Kingfisher bottle placed on a seat, and on coming back to the same place two minutes later, we found that the bottle was missing. After much discussion we came to the conclusion that a dangerous dipsomaniac was on the loose.

The best part of the whole trip was the fight with water packets...
Each person bought many many water packets (not me, though) and sprayed the water on everyone else. And it wasn´t just water packets. Some who were not happy with the power of the water packets resorted to using water bottles to have better results. We were all soaked to the skin after the fight was over. Water, water everywhere... A typical scene showing how to waste water.

And then the van arrived to pick us up. The match got over at 12:15 and the van probably arrived at 2:50. Well, you know the rest. We were taken to school. From there we were taken home by our parents.

These words aren´t enough to describe the amount of fun we had. They probably just give you a very rough idea. Oh God, you should have been there with us...

Path to Victory : Part Two

2009-02-15T01:43:00.000-08:00

[WARNING - DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT READ P2V PART 1]

Let us go back to the day Sage Citrus was murdered in cold blood...

23/03/10. 8:59 p.m.

PATH TO VICTORY LTD., NUNGAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI.

Sage Citrus whispered, ¨You can´t beat me...¨

And then he was still.

Kumar left the Meditation Room and walked into his private office. Three Ghosts stood there, looking at him anxiously.

¨It is done,¨ said Kumar with a smile of triumph.

¨Are you sure?¨ one of the men asked. ¨He might use his psychic powers to heal himself.¨

¨I have been researching psychism for half my life. I have gone more deeply into the subject than any one else. Even Sage Citrus. You cannot use psychic powers to heal yourself. It does not obey what I call the Fifth Fundamental Law of Psychism.¨

¨If you say so,¨ said the man worriedly.

¨Don´t worry,¨ Kumar reassured him. ¨Everything will go perfectly according to plan. Now, call Vijayan. I have a job for him,¨ he said with a twisted smile.

The Ghost hastily left the room.

¨I have a bad feeling about this...¨ he muttered to himself.

Vijayan was one of Kumar´s henchmen. He was seven feet tall, carried with him a huge bulky piece of wood as a weapon, and was on the whole, quite intimidating. He was a cold blooded killer but his IQ level was not that high. So obviously, a twisted personality like Kumar loved having some fun at his expense.

The corpulent Vijayan made his usual slovenly appearance in front of Kumar four minutes later.

¨You called?¨ he grunted.

¨I have a new assignment for you,¨ said Kumar, his smile broader than ever.

Vijayan stared blankly at Kumar.

¨Go to Siva, and tell him that the wolf has started howling. He´s waited for a long time and won´t wait much longer.¨

¨Eh?¨ Vijayan had no idea of what was going on. ¨ What wolf? I don´t understand.¨

¨It´s a secret code, Vijayan,¨ whispered ´Kokki´ Kumar, trying to sound dramatic.

¨Oooh...¨

¨If you find out what the code means, I´ll give you five hundred.¨

¨Five hundred what?¨ asked Vijayan.

¨Five hundred paise.¨

¨I´m RICH!!!¨ Vijayan shouted as he began to run to deliver the message.

¨What was that for?¨ asked Sunder, one of the Ghosts present there.

Kumar sighed.

¨I have a lot of work to do as the person behind the attack. Not only that, I just murdered the most influential person on the planet. Imagine the level of tension. I did this to cool down. If this operation has to go on, I must remain calm.¨

Sunder nodded. It made sense.

¨Obviously, no one must know that the Sage is dead,¨ Kumar said.

Sunder nodded once again.

¨We shall spread word that Sage Citrus has gone deep into meditation. We are providing him with food and water when he requires it.¨

Sunder nodded for the third time.

¨Dispose the body,¨ Kumar said with a stern face before leaving the room to attend to some important business.

Now fast forward to the next day...

24/03/10, 7:21 p.m.

MYLAPORE, CHENNAI.

Rajamuthu was discreetly following Kumar. He had to get to the bottom of this, and soon. This Kumar was definitely a shady character.

Rajamuthu´s cell phone rang loudly.

¨Hello, this is Ratnaraj from P2V. Sakthivel said you wanted to talk to me.¨

¨I´ll call you back,¨ growled Rajamuthu.

The split second distraction ruined everything.

The crafty gangster turned right at a by lane and promptly disappeared from view.

Rajamuthu turned right too, but there was no sign of Kumar

So he knew I was following him, Rajamuthu thought. I should definitely not underestimate this guy...

Kumar took out his Blackberry from his pocket and rang Sunder.

¨Someone was tailing me,¨ Kumar said softly.

¨Should I send our boys?¨ asked Sunder.

¨Yes. But don´t attack him. Just find out who he is. Then we can think of what to do. The last thing I need now is some one following me.¨

Sunder grunted an affirmative.

Fast forward one last time. Next day...

25/03/10, 9:21 a.m.

NO. 12, ASOKA VANAM, MYLAPORE, CHENNAI.

Thirteen – year – old Karthik looked on in horror as two typical rowdees got out of the house, both smoking.

¨... Yes,¨ said one of them. ¨Remember the Mumbai blasts of 21/11? It´s gonna be hundred times worse than that. And ten times worse than the 9/11. So you can imagine.¨

¨Wow...¨ said the other, and then he spotted Kartik.

¨Hey!¨

Karthik jumped away from the bushes, scrambled up the wall with skill of a prankster, jumped down, and began to run at top speed. The rowdees went out through the gate and the chase was on!

¨Stop there, boy!¨ shouted one of them and the other let out a stream of curses in Tamil.

Karthik kept running, his heart pounding with fear...

25/03/10, 9:22 a.m.

RAJAMUTHU´S RESIDENCE, MYLAPORE.

The detective´s cell began to ring. The ring tone was Ennai konjam maatri from Kaakka Kaakka, Rajamuthu´s favourite movie.

¨Private Investigator Rajamuthu, speaking.¨

¨This is Ratnaraj from P2V.¨

¨Sorry I forgot to call you back yesterday,¨ said Rajamuthu.

¨Look, there´s something I have to tell you urgently. It´s of the utmost importance.¨ Ratnaraj sounded very worried.

¨Go on,¨ Rajamuthu said.

¨It´s Kumar who´s behind everything. I´ll tell you how I found out later-¨

¨Oh, yes, I guessed Kumar had something to do with all this,¨ said Rajamuthu. ¨You see, yesterday in the tea shop-¨

¨Please listen!¨ interjected Ratnaraj. ¨Kumar killed Sage Citrus. But now I think he has plans of killing someone else! I overheard two people in our company talking just a minute ago, thought I´d inform you first-¨

¨Who´s he gonna kill!??¨ Rajamuthu shouted into the phone.

¨I´m not sure. They said it´s some one who lives in No 3, PV Koil Street, Mylapore.¨

Rajamuthu´s heart went cold. That was the address of his house.

The door banged open and a large group of armed rowdees marched into the house.

¨Oh shit!¨

Rajamuthu dropped the cell phone in panic and reached for his revolver. His prized posession given to him by Saroja Detective Agency. The rowdees charged with sickles and clubs. Rajamuthu fired three shots. All three found their mark. Three rowdees collapsed as the bullets hit their legs. They fell on the other criminals and most of them fell down. Rajamuthu fired three more shots and began to run. There were only four rowdees left uninjured and they gave Rajamuthu the chase.

Darn! Rajamuthu thought. Out of bullets!

Rajamuthu ran out of his house and reached the basement. He got into his car and began to drive away.

How can they do this in broad daylight? Thought Rajamuthu, unable to believe what was happening to him.

Rajamuthu drove out of his house.

Oh God!

There had been a jeep of rowdees waiting outside his house!

¨After him!¨

And there, it was, a classic movie chase scene. The jeep tore after Rajamuthu´s Swift.

Rajamuthu had a good head start, but the jeep was fast approaching.

Seven minutes later, the jeep was still after him. He had to reach a police station. He was in the slum area...

Karthik was running for his life from the two criminals. He was beginning to tire. He couldn´t keep at it much longer...

Why is that no one is coming for my help? There are all these people on the road and they´re just standing and watching! Karthik was desperate. He turned around and saw the two rowdees. They showed no signs of tiring.

Karthik didn´t no what exactly happened in the next second. He heard the shout of a man and the screeching of some tires and a car halted in front of him. A silver swift.

¨What the heck are you doing?!¨ the man in the car shouted hysterically.

¨These people are trying to kill me!¨ Karthik shouted back, pointing at the rowdees.

¨Oh, you too?¨ asked the man. ¨Get in.¨

Karthik didn´t pause to think twice. He got into the car. The man driving the car went forward at top speed. The rowdees scattered, not wanting to hit the car. The man kept going.

¨What´s your name?¨

¨Karthik.¨

¨What´s your name?¨

¨Rajamuthu.¨

¨Why are those guys chasing you?¨ asked Rajamuthu.

¨It´s a long story,¨ said Karthik. ¨I overheard their conversation. They´re planing some big thing... I heard them mention a ´Kokki´ Kumar and taking over Chennai...

¨Kumar? That´s the name of the guy I´m after. But what´s with the ´Kokki´ part of it?¨

¨I don´t know. It´s probably his nickname or something...¨

Rajamuthu said nothing.

¨Wait a second,¨ said Karthik. ¨Who are you? Where are you taking me?¨

¨I´m a Private Investigator. I´m being chased by a group of rowdees, just like you.¨

¨You´re a detective? Cool! Perhaps I can have your autograph...¨

¨Some other time, kid,¨ said Rajamuthu, bearing his teeth.

¨Point well taken,¨ Karthik said, looking at the jeep of howling rowdees gaining on them.

25/03/10, 9:33 a.m.

CHENNAI AIRPORT.

The tall, fair skinned man stepped out of the plane. Two men dressed in black coats had come to receive him. One of them stepped forward and addressed the tall man, who smiled.

¨Welcome to Chennai, sir.¨

25/03/10, 9:40 a.m.

PATH TO VICTORY LTD., NUNGAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI.

Kumar sat on a smoothe chair in the large hall. He was flanked by Sunder and another Ghost. Fifty of Kumar´s most trusted henchmen had assembled in the hall. Vijayan was also present there.

Kumar addressed Vijayan first.

¨Vijayan, my dear friend. I got news that you did not deliver my message.¨

¨Yes, sir,¨ said Vijayan.

¨And why is that?¨

The truth was this – Vijayan had totally forgotten about delivering the message when he was told that he would be given five hundred paise if he cracked the code. He spent five hours working on it at home, but was unable to make head or tail of it. Of course, Vijayan was not going to tell Kumar this.

I need an excuse. Vijayan thought. A simple believable excuse.

¨Umm... the road was blocked because a mad elephant was on the rampage,¨ Vijayan said.

Everyone burst out laughing. Kumar smiled.

¨You don´t believe me, boss?¨ Vijayan asked, looking hurt.

¨Oh, none of us here doubt your veracity and candour,¨ said Kumar.

Vijayan was relieved.

Kumar sighed.

¨Couldn´t you come up with any other excuse?¨

Vijayan was tongue tied.

Kumar said softly, dangerously, ¨You will be spared, Vijayan, only because I´m in a good mood now. I got some good news from Siva. There was a reason for his delay.¨

Kumar paused to let the words sink in.

¨We´re slightly ahead of schedule boys. We strike on the 28th of March, just three days from now.¨

To be continued...

Path to Victory : Part One

2009-02-08T02:02:00.001-08:00

It all happened in the historic year of 2010. The bulk of the events took place in the great city of Chennai. But our story begins in September 2009, in New York with the establishment of a small company called ¨Path to Victory.¨ The company had a working staff of just twelve, who called themselves advisors. The head of the company was a mysterious man who went by the title of Sage Citrus.

Overnight the company became extremely successful. People went to those ´advisors´ and asked for advice (obviously) of all sorts – not restricted to just one area of life. For a small fee, one could get financial, personal, spiritual or general advice. The advisor took down notes of the person´s current situation, and asked him to come again the following day. There he delivered his advice to the customer, and miraculously, every single piece of advice given proved to be extremely useful. And perfect. After the customer did as he was told, his life improved dramatically. For a very large fee, one could meet Sage Citrus himself, and he was the key to everyone´s ´happily ever after.´ He was ten times as effective as a normal advisor. One day, Sage citrus was the head of a small company, and the next, he was the most famous man on the planet. He was given the title Prophet by the masses. He had more than 80,000 people working under him by January 2010. Path to Victory, or P2V for short had grown so much that it had several offices all over the world. All this happened in span of just six months.

So who were these advisors? No, not extra terrestrials. They weren´t con-men either. They were Ghosts. Not the dead-man´s-soul kind of ghost. It´s just a name given to people with psychic powers. By me. And Sage Citrus.

All over the world, Ghosts are born now and then. It´s not very common, but, as I said before, it happens once in a while. The parents are usually completely normal people – Hey! Wait a sec! I shouldn´t insult Ghosts. They´re as normal as anyone else. Just a bit more creepy at times.

It isn´t easy to identify a Ghost. He/she seems normal, as I stated before, but just keeps getting strange dreams all the time ...

Now I´ll tell you how people are employed in P2V companies. It all happens on the Internet. The P2V companies have a website, www.pathtovictory.com. All one has to do is click on the ´Apply for job´ section.There, he has to type in his address and contact info and then write ... the dream he gets most often! Sage Citrus himself reads each application, and somehow, no one knows how, he selects only the Ghosts. All other applications are rejected. Sage Citrus, I repeat, was a very mysterious man. Little is known about his past.

Ghosts are trained for six months in P2V companies. Then, they listen to their first customer, and think hard about everything he says. And voila – he gets his ´magic´ dream! A dream that tells them exactly how to advice their customer. Occasionally, Ghosts also get glimpses into the near future in their dreams.

Now that you have all the background information, let´s zoom into Chennai City.

23/03/10, 11:47 a.m.

ANNA SALAI (MOUNT ROAD), CHENNAI.

The road was packed to it´s full capacity. A huge crowd had assembled to get a short glimpse of the Prophet. A black BMW soon came into view. The words ´Welcome, Prophet´ were painted in bright red letters on the sides of the car. The crowd exploded, shouting their throats hoarse.

Inside the BMW, Sage Citrus waved cheerfully to the crowd. He had a small beard and was clothed in red robes. Beside him sat his assistant, the thirty year old Kumar.

¨So how do you like my hometown?¨ Kumar asked Sage Citrus.

¨The roads should be improved,¨ Sage Citrus said. Curiously, he had an Indian accent. ¨But otherwise it´s okay.¨

¨Wait till you feel the heat,¨ said Kumar with a smile. ¨I bet you´ll complain about it all day.¨

¨Oh, I don´t think it´ll bother me,¨ said Sage Citrus. ¨It can´t be worse than the climate in the Sahara, can it?¨

¨Sahara?¨ asked Kumar with a jolt of surprise. ¨What do you know about the Sahara?¨

¨I spent twenty years of my life in that vast desert of Africa.¨

¨You´re joking, aren´t you?¨ asked Kumar, amazed.

¨I´m dead serious.¨

Still unable yo believe what he had just heard, Kumar asked Sage Citrus, ¨Let me ask you this for the fifty third, no, fifty fifth time - ´How old are you?¨

¨Old enough to order you not to ask me that for the fifty sixth time,¨ said Sage Citrus, his eye twinkling.

Kumar burst out laughing.

The car had crossed Anna Salai and was abut to take a left turn, but a small group of policemen stopped it. One of them spoke to the driver in Tamil.

¨I´m sorry, but this road is temporarily blocked. There´s been an accident here.¨

The car reversed, and took another route.

¨A bad omen,¨ muttered Kumar.

¨I don´t believe in omens,¨ said Sage Citrus. Just my dreams, he thought to himself.

Kumar said nothing. But the faintest sign of a smirk lingered on his face for a fraction of a second.

23/03/10, 6:23 p.m.

THE PIRATES ( A BAR IN HOTEL ESTHEL), ADYAR, CHENNAI.

Two suspicious looking men sat at a table and conversed in whispers.

¨It´s his first visit to chennai, isn´t it?¨ asked one.

¨First and last,¨ said the other. ¨Kumar´ll take care of that.¨

Kumar was definitely brilliant. He knew how to commit dastardly crimes when no one was looking and maintain his ´good boy´ image in front of Sage Citrus. And the public too, for that matter. Kumar had a totally different side. In underworld mafia cricles, he was known as the dreaded gangster ´Kokki´ Kumar* – the Wolf of Chennai. He had left Chennai about six months ago to join the P2V company in New York.

23/03/10, 8:53 p.m.

PATH TO VICTORY LTD., NUNGAMBAKKAM, CHENNAI.

Sage citrus sat alone in a dimly lit room meditating. Kumar walked in unceremoniously, sword in hand.

¨I do not recall inviting you here, Kumar,¨ Sage Citrus said with a frown. ¨You´ve spoiled my meditation.¨

¨Oh I´m so sorry,¨ said Kumar, smiling devilishly. ¨I have some unfinished business here.¨

¨And what might that be?¨ inquired the sage.

¨Oh, I just wanted to paint my sword red,¨ Kumar said.

¨There´s nothing here that you can use to paint your sword,¨ said Sage Citrus.

¨Don´t worry,¨ said Kumar softly. ¨I´m sure I can find it.¨

With that he lunged at the Prophet, brandishing his weapon. Sage Citrus rolled out of the way with surprising agility. He jumped up to standing position.

¨You must know by now what I´m planning,¨ said Kumar.

¨I´ve known for a while, Kumar,¨ said Citrus.

¨That´s precisely why I can´t let you live,¨ growled Kumar as he charged.

Sage Citrus stepped nimbly to the side and tripped Kumar, who went sprawling on the floor.

¨My friends in Africa taught me a thing or two,¨ smiled Citrus.

Kumar got up angrily and wiped the blood from his lips.

¨You can´t beat me, Kumar,¨ said Citrus.

¨I CAN!¨ roared Kumar as he charged once more, bringing down his sword in a wide arc. Citrus managed to dodge at the last second. He caught hold of Kumar´s fist and gave it a deft twist. The sword fell down with a clatter. Another punch from the sage and Kumar was rolling on the floor in agony. The Prophet picked up the sword.

¨You should have brought a gun,¨ muttered Sage Citrus, looking at the sword.

¨Too true,¨ said Kumar, still on the ground. He drew a gun and fired. He shot the sage through the chest.

¨D´you know why I didn´t bring out my revolver right in the beginning? It´s because I knew that you could stop the bullets with a psychic wave! That´s why I waited until the momment I could catch you unawares!¨ roared Kumar in triumph.

He smiled once, and said, ¨You should start believing in omens ; although it´s too late now.¨

Even as Kumar left the room, Sage Citrus whispered, ¨You can´t beat me...¨

And then he was still.

24/03/10, 3:17 p.m.

SAROJA INVESTIGATING AGENCY, MYLAPORE, CHENNAI.

Detective Rajamuthu walked into his boss´s room. Looking up from the newspaper, Mr. Sakthivel (Rajamuthu´s boss) addressed Rajamuthu.

¨How d´you like my new suit?¨

¨Did you call me to discuss suits, Sir?¨

Rajamuthu had never been a sycophant. But still, he was the best in the agency and was indispensible.

¨Mind your tongue,¨ said Sakthivel curtly. Then his manner softened.

¨No, that is not why I called you here. I have something impotant for you. Do you know Ratnaraj?¨

¨He left the agency last year and joined P2V, didn´t he?¨

¨Correct,¨ Sakthivel said. ¨He still keeps in touch with me. I got a call from him a few minutes ago. It seems there are some rumours being circulated in the P2V that Sage Citrus is dead. Just check it out. Do your bit.¨

¨I shall talk to Ratnaraj first. Please give me his cell number, Sir,¨ Rajamuthu said.

¨You can´t contact him now. He´s gone to visit a customer. He´ll be free only at nine.¨

¨Oh. Rotten luck. I´ll go to P2V first. Give me his number anyway.¨

After getting the number from Sakthivel, Rajamuthu left the room.

¨Get the mental machinery working!¨ Sakthivel called after him.

¨I sure will,¨ muttered Rajamuthu with a determined look.

24/03/10, 7:17 p.m.

KSA TEA SHOP, MYLAPORE, CHENNAI.

Rajamuthu was having a quiet cup of tea at the roadside shop. The visit to P2V proved unsuccessful. He tried to wriggle out some stories from the mouth of the person who was his advisor; but no luck. The adamant Ghost acted as if he had heard none of Rajamuthu´s questions.

Mr. Rajamuthu engaged in a few minutes of small talk with the shop keeper.

Finally, the man said, ¨You speak Tamil very well – I mean, I like your pure Tamil.¨

Rajamuthu smiled.

¨I never did like Madras Bashai,***¨ he said.

¨Same here,¨ said the man at the tea shop with a broad grin.

It was at this momment that another customer arrived at the tea shop.

¨One cup, decoction,¨ he said.

Rajamuthu took one look at the customer and got the shock of his life. It was Kumar. Disguised, of course, with a clever fake moustache and wig. But Rajamuthu was the best in the business when it came to looking through disguises.

Why on earth would a rich dignified person like Kumar enter a roadside tea shop? Disguised?

There was something very fishy going on there...

The detective left the tea shop and watched Kumar´s dealings with the shopkeeper from a distance...

25/03/10, 9:13 a.m.

SLUMS OF MYLAPORE, CHENNAI.

Karthik was the typical thirteen – year – old Chennai slum boy. He was ill mannered, street smart, slightly undernourished, crazy about movies and had a happy-go-lucky attitude. All his adventures with the rowdees of Chennai began because of his perverted friend Sravan.¨

Hey, c´mon, it won´t do you any harm to try just one...¨ said Sravan, pointing at the cigarette in his hand.

¨No,¨ said Karthik. ¨I won´t try it!¨

¨Why? You scared? It´s not gonna kill you!¨

¨My father´s said I shouldn´t touch cigarettes,¨ Karthik said solemnly.

¨I´m telling you again, just one won´t hurt!!¨ Sravan insisted.

¨I won´t!¨ screamed Karthik.

¨Fine,¨ said Sravan, trying to appear nonchalant. ¨You´re the loser. How c´n you ever expect to be a hero like Rajini without smoking a cigarette?¨

Karthik had no answer to this.

¨Haven´t you seen any Rajini movies? Cigarettes make an essential part of them!¨

¨But Rajini didn´t smoke in Sivaji,¨ Karthik said, trying his best to put up a brave front.

¨He doesn´t have to go on smoking! Boy, he´d die of ... of ... that disease, whatever you call it! And you don´t have to smoke more than one! I don´t understand why you´re making such a fuss!¨ said Sravan, sounding exasperated.

¨Just try one,¨ said Sravan softly again. ¨Go on. No one will ever know. It´ll be between us. I promise.¨

Karthik finally gave in**.

¨Okay, just one... No, nowhere near here. Most of these people here know my father.¨

Sravan grinned. ¨Try it out and tell me what you think in the evening.¨

Karthik hesitatingly took the cigarette from Sravan, put it in his pocket and began sprinting. He had to go far far far away....

23/05/10, 9:21 a.m.

NO. 12, ASOKA VANAM, MYLAPORE, CHENNAI.

Karthik was in the garden of an abandoned house called Asoka Vanam, half a kilometre away from his house. Well, that was Karthik´s sense of far, far away..

He crouched behind some plants (Karthik´s botany, like mine, was weak) of the old, overgrown garden. He lit the cigar with a small match, slowly brought it to his mouth and inhaled deeply.

Argghh!!!

Karthik coughed and spluttered.

Sheesh.... Definitely not the kind of thing for him. Disguisted, he threw the cigarette to the ground and gave it a praticularly venomous glance. At that point, he heard some muffled noises come from inside the supposedly abandoned house.

¨Ah yes, 25^th April. Seven ´o´ clock sharp! We´ll have Chennai by the 26^th.¨

¨When will the helicopters start coming in?¨

¨Eight.¨

¨I don´t feel very good about this... hope ´Kokki´ Kumar´s got it all well planned out!¨

¨What do you think about the Wolf of Chennai? Every rowdy in the city will be behind him!¨

¨Will that be enough?¨

¨What do you think the helicopters are for, you fool? We´re importing rowdees from all over Tamil Nadu.¨

¨Great!¨

There was a brief momment of silence. Karthik couldn´t believe what he had heard. These two men, whoever they were, were obviously part of some huge conspiracy! Instinct told Karthik to get away from there as fast as possible, but his legs were frozen, just like how it happens to all those people in the stories.

The men resumed their conversation.

¨C´mon, let´s go for a walk. I need some fresh air.¨

¨Hmmm... yeah, let´s go. I´m tired of sitting here for hours together.¨

Oh God! Karthik thought. They´re coming out!

Though he was crouched behind some plants, he wasn´t completely hidden from view. He didn´t have a chance of making a dash for it either. Somethng nasty was definitely going to happen. To him. Karthik was sure of it.

To be continued ...

_____________________________________________

Notes

*As most of you would have guessed by now, I stole ´Kokki´ Kumar from Dhanush´s movie Pudhupettai. :)

**Don´t let this conversation mislead you! I am not a Rajini fan!!! :D

***This is the kind of Tamil we normally use,full of slang and English words.

Infosys - Catch Them Young!

2009-02-08T01:39:00.000-08:00

Hello! It´s been a week since I last blogged. So I´ll just keep you up to date with everything that has happened.

First of all, according to Mohan Sir (our PT teacher), we´ll get our jerseys this week. I hope we do.

Secondly....

I visited Infosys recently to write an exam. It was part of Infosys CTY (Catch Them Young), where talented kids are selected for a summer camp. Anyway, I went with nine other people from my class. We went by van, and my friend who shares my first name (most VM-ites will know who I´m talkin about) made us laugh the whole way. Amazing jokes ... wonder where he comes up with those...

We reached Infosys an hour early, so we were taken to a large hall, where we were so jobless that we started playing Hangman. My namesake continued to entertain us with ceaseless energy.

Then it was time for the exam. It was quite okay, some questions were tricky. And there was not much time. 60 mins for 44 questions. And the last four were cool puzzles. I had to tick some ten answers randomly because of the lack of time. I hope to get about 30 out of 50.

After the exam we were provided with refreshments (my namesake´s eyes lit up) - a samosa and some tea.

Then it was time to go. We went back by the van (obviously) and we played anthakshari with football players. I kept inventing names when I ran out of them.

We reached school... my mother picked me up and took me home... that´s about it. As always, I want you to comment.

My next post will be the first part of a story. It took me a while to write it. It´s reeaalllyyy loooong. Just read and comment. See ya!

The Sanskrit Assignment

2009-02-01T02:27:00.000-08:00

Hello all. We were given an assignment by our sanskrit teacher to write about ten lines on anything we liked. I know there´s not much point in writing in sanskrit - there aren´t many who will understand what I´ve written. But I´m doing just for fun (you can just admire the script or boast about not being able to understand anything). Anyway, it´s about me.

अहम्

मम नाम राम: । अहम् विद्यामन्दिरे पठामि। अहम् चेन्नईनगरस्य तिरुवान्मियुरे वसामि। मम सहोदर्या: नाम कल्याणी ।अहम् तया सह विविधा: क्रीड़ा: क्रीडामि। कदाचित् सा मां पीड्यति।

मह्यं पादकन्दुकं रोचते। मह्यम् पुस्तकानाम पठनमपि रोचते। अहम् कदाचित् दूरदर्शनं पश्यामि। कल्याणी प्रतिदिनं विद्यालयात आगत्य मया सह दूरदर्शनं पश्यति।

Raman, King of the Earth

2009-01-31T00:17:00.000-08:00

There are so many things I would do to make this world a better place if I were the Ruler of the World. Ah, if only I had the power to do those things now... Well, let´s begin.

The RW (Ruler of the World) elections are starting in a few months, and this is part of my campaigning. Firstly, I would like to inform you, with great pleasure, that those who vote for me will get a free Adidas football and a treat in the Vidya Mandir canteen. These are short term things. Now let me tell you about my long term goals and ideas.

The first thing I´ll do is ban exams and tests. Anyone who gives the students a test will be banished for all eternity - this is my way of getting the students to vote for me.
Next, all dissidents will be thrown in to the Amazon Rain forest. As long as I´m king, there will be no democracy. Just dictatorship.

Now, let´s go back to things related to academics. Anyone who forces a kid to study against his/her will, will be shut away in the dungeons. Anyone who writes an educational game will be prosecuted. Do not consider my behaviour impetuous. It´s all for the Greater Good.

I give you my word that when I´m king, I will personally see to it that all the roads are well laid and transport will be enjoyable. I shall supervise the construction of malls in every corner of every city and village in the world. The cost of cell phones and gaming consoles will come down once I rule the world.

You need not worry about law and order. I will see to it that every criminal on this earth is punished severely. I will make sure the quality of food served in all the restaurants will be improved. You shall live in a clean, crime free environment while I hold the power in my hands.

About deforestation and poaching, I will sincerely try to eradicate both. I shall do everything possible to prevent all this global warming. Unfortunately for us, our ancestors have ruined things so perfectly that it´s almost impossible to set things right now.

And last but not the least, I give you my word that I will listen to all your problems, and do all I can to solve them. Friends, Romans, countrymen! Lend me your votes! No, actually, give me your votes. And I´m not talking only to Romans and my countrymen. I speak directly to everyone in this world, rich and poor, strong and weak, intelligent and dumb!

I have told you all that I will do for you once I become the ruler of this spinning ball we call the earth. Now to support me, you can do two things. One is, of course, vote for me. SMS ¨vote >space< sat¨ to 1111111. There are 2,987,456 other candidates standing for this election, and I need your support. The other thing you can do to help me is join the group ¨raman sat is our king¨ on Facebook.

What? Still sitting there? Don´t delay further! Go vote for me! As I´m sure you all know, procrastination is no virtue.

Homesickness...

2009-01-30T22:07:00.000-08:00

I´ve been homesick plenty of times. It´s nothing new to me. I usually get homesick during the summer vacation, Christmas holidays, etc... Hey! Wait a second! I think I´m leading you in the wrong direction. When I say homesickness, I mean I get sick of being at home!!! I´m usually in this mood when I want to go to school. Well, maybe I should call it schoolsickness.

Yes, I know, I´ve said it so many times already - I love school. In some ways I´m more at home in school than when I´m in my house. No wonder school is called a ¨second home.¨

My next post, I promise you, will be something a bit more interesting - what I´d do if I were the Ruler of the World. So if you comment on this post, I might think about not feeding you to the lions when I´m the Ruler of the World.

So what is life?

2009-01-30T08:03:00.000-08:00

So, as usual, I´ve been wondering. What´s the point of life? Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it, sometimes I get bored with it... I mean, what´s the point of it?
I usually wonder about such things when I´m in a bad mood (like I am now).

Well, what I´m saying is, wouldn´t be nice to be a rock or something? You know - no worries, no responsibilities, no tests, no exams, no homework... But at the same time - no football, no story writing, no facebook, no eating(!) and no blogging!! Oops, I definitely don´t want to be that way either.

So there are good things and bad things about life. But the good things seem so brief and the bad things drag on forever. Often, I feel like I´m part of a nightmare!! That´s when I remember this line I read somewhere -
Your crime is being born and your punishment is living.

It certainly seems like that at times! Anyway, I´m sure you go through bad times too (that is, unless you are an extra terrestrial, and in that case, you must tell me if what life´s like in your planet. And also try and take me there whenever possible!) Anyway, just leave a comment and share your views on life with me!

Plans for the future

2009-01-27T03:42:00.000-08:00

Journalism is the only thing that has appealed to me as a career other than being a football player and and a cosmologist. But though I love cosmology, I don´t think I want to pursue it and become a cosmologist. So right now, I think I´ll stick with journalism. Not the TV kind of journalist. I want to be someone like P Sainath.

But it isn´t just journalism I´m interested in. The main reason I chose journalism is because I love writing. So my plan is to become a journalist and in my free time write a novel that will become a bestseller. And then I can become a full time author. Actually, right now I have many ideas for my novels, and I get all enthusiastic and start writing, but I never end up finishing the novel. So for now I stick to short stories and essays.

Actually there´s one more thing i want to mention. Being an archaeologist also seems cool. I love history. Maybe, again, I´ll combine archeology with journalism. And then again shift to the novel part of my plan.

Hmmmm... I don´t know. Maybe it´s too early to start thinking about my career. What do you think? Please let me know by dropping a comment.

The Poem

2009-01-25T06:56:00.000-08:00

Hello all. I enjoyed the Fun fest (well, no surprises there - I always do). Anyway, here´s the poem I wrote...

AFTER DISPLEASING ME...

...You may run, but you can´t hide,

It won´t rest – the demon inside

Until it has you by the scruff of your neck

And turns you into a nervous wreck.

The demon that inside my heart does dwell

Will throw your life into Satan´s hell.

I´ll hunt you down

Like a wolf that stalks its prey -

You´re just an insect runnin´ away.

Your efforts to escape are all in vain,

I´ll be there to give you maximum pain.

So mortal, I warn you now

To your master, you´d better bow.

I shall soon unleash a new era of crime

To me you´d better capitulate in time.

So, reader, beware -

Enemies I shall not spare.

Like how the eagles own the sky

And the blue whales rule the sea,

If you invoke my anger, then,

Your soul belongs to me

Just ¨Stuff¨

2009-01-23T21:48:00.000-08:00

I don´t know what´s happening to me... Nowadays, I seem so listless - wanting to do absolutely nothing. I don´t feel like studying (no surprises there), reading, watching TV or writing(!). My life seems to be going out of focus...

I tried to snap out of this pathetic mood yesterday by writing a poem. It came out quite well, much to my surprise. I´ll post it.

The only thing I have to look forward to now is the Fun Fest, organized to collect funds for school. It is a sort of carnival and it´ll be held this evening. It´s an amazing, fun filled day and every single VM-ite looks forward to it with great enthusiasm.

Until the day before yesterday, it seemed like I wouldn´t be able to look forward to the Fun Fest either. It was announced in our class that all students of class eight had to help the teachers with the stalls from 1:45 pm to 4. That meant just two hours of playing!

There was a vociferous response from the students of 8 A, but the teachers made it clear that we had no choice to make in the matter. But on the very next day, in the last period, there was another announcement that our duties had been canceled! No one knows who made the decision, and no one really cares, as long as we can enjoy the Fun Fest.

Hmmm... now let me tell you about another thing. We had SPL (School Pupil Leader) elections recently. This year, my batch was allowed to vote. Four students were nominated. Out of them, one becomes SPL, two become ASPLs (Assistant School Pupil Leaders) and one is given some other post. The guy whom I voted for won. It was quite unexpected, though. I dint´t think he´d win.

But the best part of the elections isn´t the voting. It´s the campaigning. The last two periods of Wednesday were spent in campaigning. Of course, I spent only a small fraction of the time actually campaigning. Most of the time was spent in playing and roaming around school.

Okay, fellas! See ya next time! Goodbye for now.

Revival of the Fallen Warrior

2008-12-29T01:25:00.000-08:00

So he thought I´d give up. Well, he was wrong.

Hello all. I started this blog recently, after some miscarambulous person hacked into my other gmail account and deleted the blog I used to manage earlier. In case you´re wondering what the word ¨miscarambulous¨ means, let me tell you this - it has no meaning. It was a word I made up long long ago. There. I just stopped you from running up to the bookshelf and opening the dictionary, didn´t I?

I loved my old blog. I really did. I used to blog at www.ramansideas.blogspot.com. Ah, well. I hope I don´t lose this blog too.

If the person who deleted my older blog thought I´d just sit and cry - here´s a surprise for him. Well, it´s true that I was unhappy for a while and was not in the mood to blog, but things have changed now. The fallen warrior is back on his feet again.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

I know, that was weird. Anyway, this is just to let you know that I´ll blog whenever I get the time. It may be once a week, or once a month, or once a year .... I´m not promising anything. Just visit my blog now and then to see if there are any new posts.